


Standing the Test of Time

by OrionBloomfield



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Destroy Ending, F/M, Mild Language, Minor Spoilers, ending AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24218473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrionBloomfield/pseuds/OrionBloomfield
Summary: Even after the Reapers have been destroyed, some people struggle with finding a place to belong. The Andromeda Initiative provides shelter for those looking for a new beginning without questioning why.Shepard and Garrus find themselves volunteering, albeit for completely different reasons. Reunions won't be easy, but even after 600 years and in a completely different galaxy, there is no Shepard without Vakarian.
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Comments: 7
Kudos: 60





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and thanks for checking this story out!  
> This is a complete re-imagination of the Andromeda plot (specifically before Andromeda starts) with Garrus and Shepard at the centre. It will contain minor spoilers for events in Kadara (ME: Andromeda), but having played Andromeda is not necessary to understand this story! This is set after the Extended Cut - Destroy ending.

“ _If for some reason I’m up in that bar and you’re not, remember that I’ll always be looking down. I’ll always have your back_.” Those were the last words she said to him before she went and disappeared into the warzone. His heart broke into a million pieces, to see her walk away from him and into what he was sure was her death. Sure, they’d survived the Collector Base and killed a few Reapers, but this was different. This was the end.

And Shepard be damned, she had saved the entire galaxy _again_. He wanted to celebrate, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Not without her by his side to see what they had achieved together. He suspected the rest of the team felt the same way. They had saved the day, but they felt empty. Everyone wanted to pat their back and congratulate them on a job well-done, expressing their condolences over the losses and mourning Shepard, but the words felt empty.

She had proved over and over that she did have his back: she had been a constant source of support always by his side, even during the darkest times of his life. He had already lost her once; the pain of losing her twice was excruciating. He wasn’t sure he’d ever recover. He felt alone. Helpless. Cold.

With the war over there was little to do. The crew started to dissolve, some insisting on keeping the ship running as a memento, the war memorial open to the public for everyone to leave flowers and whatnot. He had had enough, though. He left the Normandy and refused to look back. He needed time for himself, he told them. All of them did, and all of them deserved it. But his plans to retire to a tropical planet made him feel uncomfortable. All their dreams for the future had vanished, as if he wasn’t meant to be enjoying this, not without her.

However, if the side of his face was any evidence, time healed all scars. Eventually, he learned to live with her absence and with the loss and emptiness that came with it. It became part of his life, and he had to move on. He couldn’t give up on his life now, not when she had fought so hard to give everyone a future.

He returned to Palaven, helped his family recover their old family house.

Rebuilding upon ashes took some time, but it felt good. It made him feel less empty, knowing there were people that were still relying on him. Once, he dreaded to be in the presence of his father; now, he found himself enjoying the silent moments of comfort they shared together. Both had lost a lot. His father understood, provided quiet solace.

His sister installed herself in the new wing they had built. It had taken them a while to get there, but they were both willing to put their sibling disputes aside and learn to live again. She brought her long-time husband – with whom she had eloped during the war – and her child home. His father had been pleased, the laughter and joyful glee lifted their hearts and Garrus had to admit he liked spending time with his nephew. 

He refused to return to the Hierarchy. He had seen enough bloodshed for a lifetime. The excuses varied: he had been away from Palaven after the war, then he had been busy rebuilding their home, and finally, his nephew took most of his free time. He still liked tinkering with his weapons, modifying them and selling them to weapon collectors – people that were hung up on the memoirs of war – but he knew what his father and sister were thinking. He knew that they were expecting him to start moving on and do something with his life other than sit at home, restless. But the Hierarchy was all he had ever known. He was a bad Turian, yeah, but he was still built for fighting; as a C-Sec officer, as a vigilante, and as part of Shepard’s crew. He wanted a change, but he needed some time for himself until he figured out what he really wanted.

It wasn’t long after when he received a forwarded message from an encrypted sender. The message was an advertisement for the Andromeda Initiative, which incentivised all species to take a leap of faith and volunteer to explore another galaxy. It seemed complicated, crazy. So many things could go wrong. He was scared cryogenics. He remembered Javik, and how jarring he had felt after waking up fifty thousand years later as the only survivor of an extinct race. But in his eyes, he had already lost everything he had, and if nothing else, he could at least make a difference in a new world. If Javik had managed to wake up and fight, so could he.

In hindsight, he should have guessed it was his father’s doing, to silently encourage him to find a meaning to his life again. If not here, then somewhere else where he could start over. He should have guessed, from the way his eyes turned downwards when he told them of his plans to sign up, silently understanding. On the other hand, his sister had been furious. She had repeatedly slammed her fists on his chest until she had no more words left. They’d be essentially losing Garrus, _forever_. It was a strange goodbye, especially because when – and he avoided to think _if_ – he woke up, they’d be long forgotten in the past. It was very possible that the Vakarian bloodline would have died out. And if it hadn’t, it would still be a galaxy away.

But he had made up his mind, his resolve wouldn’t waver. Shepard had managed to secure peace in this galaxy, she’d be silently watching over the Milky Way, he was sure. So it was up to him to explore Andromeda. He would live for her.

The screening process had been fairly lenient, they _needed_ volunteers. And Garrus liked to think that having saved the Galaxy numerous times accounted for something. At least _that_ had been something he had done right. They ignored the multiple failures in his career in favour of his experience and skill in battle, definitely needed when exploring the unknown. Is this how the Humans had felt when they discovered space travel? It was a bittersweet feeling, but one that was not entirely unwelcome.

He had a few months to prepare, to say his final goodbyes (and that in itself had felt so terminal), and to gather all his belongings. They weren’t allowed to bring much, so he packed mostly for value rather than sentimentality; things that would be useful to him: his trusted visor, armour, his beloved sniper rifle, some of his modding tools and a few civvies. He packed two picture frames, one of his family and the picture they had taken at Anderson’s apartment in the Citadel. He was about to close up his locker and send it to the Initiative for safeguarding when he caught a glimpse of a hoodie. He recognised it immediately. Shepard’s N7 hoodie that somehow still smelled like her. He had salvaged it from her quarter’s in the Normandy before he had left. For the first time in many months it felt like the wound had truly not healed. He hugged it to his chest, feeling torn.

“I hope you’re proud of me, wherever you are,” he exclaimed, to no one in particular. “And I hope you’ll still have my back in 600 years’ time.” 

He didn’t even question it, packed it amongst his things. It could be his good-luck token, he decided. There was no Shepard without Vakarian, so it felt right to bring a piece of her into Andromeda.

His preparations finished, all he had to do was wait for the date they would depart. He had been allocated to the Nexus arc. He hadn’t really cared to find out the differences between each arc, and the blueprints they had showed him of the Nexus made it look familiar enough to the Citadel. In the end, he didn’t really mind which arc they assigned him to, all he cared was that they made it across safely. He made his way into the quarters, full of other very nervous Turians and followed the doctor’s orders.

He was daunted by the whole process of cryo-sleep. The many lectures in preparation hadn’t done much to alleviate his fears, too many things could go wrong. But if everything went right, he’d wake up feeling like he had just fallen asleep, except centuries would have passed. If everything went wrong, well, nothing would really change, he supposed.

It just _had_ to be his luck that right after closing the pod and just before sleep was induced, he could hear turmoil outside. The doctor that had helped him sounded agitated.

_“What do you mean Shepard’s alive?”_

He heard a few more doctors shouting at each other. What did they mean, Shepard was _alive_? Oh, no, no, he needed to get out of the pod, tell them he needed to see her one last time. But it was too late, his eyes involuntarily closed. He’d have a long time to dream about those last words.

 _Fuck_.

* * *

Shepard gasped.

Her entire life flashed before her eyes, she remembered the last words she had exchanged with her squad, the adrenaline powering her body while she made her way to the Crucible. It was all a hazy dream. Had she hallucinated everything?

She remembered dying once, the process hadn’t been pretty, but it had felt similar to this. Hazy sequences of her dragging Joker out of his seat and into one of the escape pods; the emptiness of space right before her eyes, feeling strangely calm while everything ignited away.

She felt similar, but it was different somehow. The strange bizarre atmosphere in the Crucible, meeting Anderson, killing the Illusive Man. It all felt like a strange, slow nightmare. Those moments of respite next to Anderson’s dying body, as they both watched The Earth from afar. Had she dreamed about that kid giving her the choice over humanity’s fate? Maybe the adrenaline had made her dream everything. She didn’t remember anything else other than slowly falling into a slumber, the feeling of falling down.

Next thing she knew, a crushing pressure started weighing down on her. She slowly regained consciousness. This was nothing like the first time she had died. She tried curling her toes, then her fingers, in an attempt to regain mobility. She heard voices around her, screaming names. Her brain couldn’t decipher what they were saying. She was content enough lying down, she was exhausted.

She blinked and opened her eyes to darkness. The end of the galaxy! The Reapers! It all came rushing to her, activating her core and skyrocketing her pulse. She was buried under rubble, how she made her way there from the Crucible she wasn’t sure. She wasn’t really sure the Crucible had happened; it had seemed so impossible. Maybe she was dead after all.

She tried lifting some rocks around her, feeling the rough texture under her hands, but her body would not listen to her. She didn’t have any strength left in her, but if she hadn’t imagined the voices earlier, there were probably many others buried under the rubble, and a search party was nearby. With the last ounce of strength in her body she took a deep breath and let out the biggest scream she could manage. She felt herself slip out of consciousness not long after.

It must have worked, for the pressure started lifting and she could feel her breath stabilising. Fussy hands probed for her vitals and she felt confident enough to let herself go, having faith that she’d found herself in helping hands.

Shepard lost all sense of time after The Crucible. She felt herself slip in and out of consciousness, heard strangers mutter words around her, words she could not understand. Everything around her was dark, and those frames of consciousness she spent wondering about what had happened. She liked to think back to her crew, hoping they’d have survived. She thought of Garrus, how sad his eyes had been when she had refused to bring him along to the last battle. She couldn’t lose him, she had told herself. She knew he would survive anything thrown at him, she just hoped he was doing well.

She remembered a lot of voices, heard Anderson’s final words, Hackett’s strict tone, Miranda’s warm tone. It kept her company while she floated in darkness.

Eventually, she spent more time conscious, more time aware. She gathered her surroundings, a hospital somewhere, probably Earth. She listened to the voices and could finally understand them. They fussed about her, constantly monitoring her details. Sometimes, the incessant beeping from the machines around her drove her mad. Thankfully she never stayed awake long enough for the beeping to become a problem.

She recognised a doctor’s voice amongst the others. His tone was soft and delicate, and she heard it more often than others. The doctor spent a long time around her. Sometimes she heard him talk to her directly, as if she could reply. He had long conversations, a lot of the times he told her about his life. She never remembered anything he said, but was happy to hear him regardless. Happy that took enough time of their day to not give up on her.

Finally, one day she managed to pry her eyes open and she gasped for air. The machines around her beeped loudly, alerting nearby doctors of the change in her condition. She wasn’t sure what had prompted her to wake up from her slumber and it took a long time to puzzle everything together and realise that she was lying on a hospital bed, pristine and sterile, machines and cords attached to her body. It reminded her too much of that time she woke up in Cerberus’ clutches.

Her head felt like it was split in two, the headache made it hard to stay awake and stare at the lights, but she willed herself to. It wasn’t long after that a few doctors came rushing to her side, talking amongst each other and looking at her. She recognised the warm voice that had spoken to her while she had been asleep.

“Can you understand us?” They fussed with the machines attached to her. “Blink twice if you can.”

She blinked twice.

She followed all of their instructions: wiggled her fingers and toes, slowly proceeded to move her body and finally managed to speak.

“Where am I? What happened?” She was visibly confused, the last thing she remembered – the war, the Crucible, the end of the world – seemed so far away. The room around her was too quiet, the doctors surrounding her felt too normal, she had lost the notion of what had been real and what not.

“You were transferred to a private hospital after you were found under piles of rubble in London,” one of them explained. “You were barely alive, it’s a miracle you’ve recovered. You were in a coma for two weeks and started showing signs of mild consciousness after. We’ve been monitoring your condition for three months. The extent of your injuries was severe, but it looks like the cybernetic implants you had have managed to speed up your recovery.”

It was a lot to take in. She hadn’t expected to survive when she headed for the Crucible. She wasn’t about to think about the odds. It scared her.

“No, I mean, what happened to the Reapers, to London, to…” she dreaded to think about him, but she had to. “To Anderson…”

The asari doctor scrunched up her face. It looked like she wasn’t too keen on informing Shepard of what had actually happened. Possibly debated whether hearing about it would deteriorate her condition.

“You managed it, Shepard. You managed to destroy the Reapers. You’re a hero, a saviour.” The doctor’s words filled her chest with warmth. At least that nightmare had finished. “The world is recovering.”

“Anderson?”

“I’m afraid he wasn’t so fortunate. Everyone is still mourning his loss.”

“I see.” She knew it, she was just asking the obvious. Didn’t make it hurt any less. “What about the Normandy? Did it make it?”

“You can rest assured, they made it. Everyone on board of the Normandy is safe and sound. They’re all regarded as war heroes.” She let out a sigh of relief. Everything was still hazy, after all, she wasn’t sure what had happened before or after she stepped into that damned thing.

The doctor whose voice she recognised cut the conversation short. It was a lot to take in, and Shepard would have to work extremely hard to recover. At least nothing major had been damaged, nothing she couldn’t recover with intensive care.

The first month after she had recovered consciousness was excruciating. The exercises got harder each day, pushed her well beyond her pain-threshold, but she persevered. She had to. She was Commander Shepard and she hadn’t just survived Hell to give up on life now. It would take a while, and she wasn’t really sure she would ever be able to participate in fast-paced long combat missions like she was used to, but she hoped she wouldn’t have to see another war in her lifetime.

She never left her hospital wing, content enough to stare out of the huge windows into the hospital gardens. She got to know some of her neighbouring patients, although they hardly stayed for long, their injuries less severe and therefore easier recoveries. It helped fill the void for company, though. The doctors were still too clinical, and she missed her Normandy crew. She was happy to stay away from the public, from the aftermath of the Reapers, from everything that had happened. She was happy in her small hospital bubble, and for once in her life, she was relieved she was able to relax and take her time to recover, to regain her strength at her own pace.

Still, it didn’t come as a surprise when things didn’t go as planned. They never did for her.

It was one of the doctors that had accidentally let it slip. It caused a huge turmoil between the team that was in charge of her recovery, and they opted for telling her the entire truth.

“Are you telling me that the information that I’m alive is classified? That everyone thinks I’m _dead_?” She could hardly believe it. No wonder there hadn’t been any press, any nasty journalists trying to barge their way into her room. No messages from the Normandy. From Garrus.

“Well, you were barely alive when they found you. The fact that you managed to recover was something short of a miracle. The public assumed you had died, they mourned your loss and regarded you as a war hero. The Alliance was scared of what would happen if someone leaked the information that you were alive, in case you didn’t make it. You have to take in mind, Shepard, the probability of your recovery was minimal. After your condition stabilised the Alliance decided to keep this information secret.”

She could understand it, but it didn’t lessen her rage. Now that she was alive and recovering, what would actually happen? She had returned from the dead once, twice was pushing it a bit too much.

“You are regarded as a war hero, but not everyone is happy with you as the figure for the Saviour of the Galaxy. Many still resent you for working for Cerberus, a lot of them see you as a symbol for the Alliance and not everyone is happy with them either, fugitive ex-Cerberus members still hold a grudge against you, and others are just bitter about everything they lost in the war.”

“So, in short, I have a lot of enemies that would benefit from ending my life for real and the Alliance can’t take any risks?”

“Basically.”

“I see.”

A pregnant pause. Shepard was still angry, the doctors felt helpless and the tension in the room could be felt in the air. Great. But if Shepard was anything, she was resilient, she liked fighting against all odds, after all, she had survived twice.

“So, what’s the deal then? When I make a full recovery, I will walk out of here and start rebuilding my life. I can’t stay dead forever, and you can’t expect me to live the rest of my days in hiding living under a fake identity.”

“The Alliance has been thinking about it since you started regaining consciousness. It is a very complicated situation, Shepard, but there is one solution that might work.”

She cocked one eyebrow, signalling for him to continue speaking.

“There is this new project called The Andromeda Initiative. They’re hoping to explore the Andromeda galaxy, becoming the first settlers from the Milky Way. They need volunteers, people of all walks of life who can provide something valuable, who want to realise this dream. It sounds really idyllic, but it is an option you might want to consider. After all, you’ve already saved the Milky Way once, why not focus on a different galaxy altogether. You don’t need to decide now, it’s best you focus on your recovery first. But it is an option, I will forward you all the details. And if not, they will look at something else. They have to, we’re only still standing because of you.”

Damned right they were. 

She had a lot of time to mull over her options. Exploring Andromeda? It seemed too good to be true. But she didn’t have too many other options. She could see why the Alliance was worried. Coming back from the dead once was problematic enough: people that knew her wondered if she was a clone, refused to believe it was truly her; hell, sometimes she wondered if she was truly herself, but the subject split her brain into pieces and she tried to avoid thinking about it. Coming from the dead twice would probably make a lot of people feel cheated, especially if she was celebrated as a martyr of war. The more time she spent thinking about it, the more she liked the idea.

The Initiative was on-board from the get-go. She needed to make a full recovery before she could even think about stepping into one of the cryo-pods, but the idea of having Shepard amongst the crew of settlers of a new galaxy was comforting. They handled the matter with secrecy, only a select few members knew of her involvement. It was all kept under wraps, and the Alliance would have one less mess to deal with once she was shipped off to a different galaxy.

Eventually, she was cleared from the hospital. The Initiative, the Alliance and the doctors had been monitoring her progress in detail. They were eager for her to embark on the new journey, all for different reasons.

She thought of saying goodbye to the Normandy crew, but knew that contacting them would be dangerous for all parties involved. Besides, she was sure that if she saw them, she’d never want to leave again, and she didn’t want to cancel everything and act on a whim. It was for the best, she told herself.

Before she stepped into the cryo-pod, she thought of the last words she said to Garrus. How she’d meet him at the bar in heaven if neither made it. How she’d always look down and have his back if she died. She felt conflicted. When she woke in the new galaxy so much time would have passed. He’d be long gone by then. Would he feel angry if he had to wait over a thousand years for her to meet him at the bar? She truly hoped he would understand; that he wouldn’t give up on her. And maybe, he’d be the one looking down and supporting her from above.


	2. Chapter 1

When Garrus came to, the first thought that invaded his mind was ‘ _Shepard is alive!_ ’. He blinked a few times, feeling groggy and disorientated. The light being flashed into his eyes certainly didn’t help.

He lifted himself up to a sitting position and took a deep breath.

“Easy there, be careful.” He looked around to find the source, a human doctor. A Turian was next to him, his posture indicating concern.

“Garrus Vakarian. Glad to see you’re awake. You have been in cryostasis for 633 years. You are currently in the cryo-bay of the Nexus, we’ve made it to Andromeda.”

He looked around the room, seemingly devoid of other pods. So, he had made it after all. But Shepard… last thing he remembered was the doctors talking about how Shepard had been alive after all. It made him feel restless.

“Shepard. Fuck. Shepard was alive!”

The Turian took a step forward and squeezed his shoulder. Between him and the human, they helped Garrus onto his feet.

“I said take it easy, aren’t you more concerned about having made it?” he asked, subvocals impatient. Garrus supposed that yeah, to someone that didn’t know him, or what they had gone through, it would seem like such a menial thing to fixate on. It was pointless to argue against them, not when he was this disorientated. As much as it pained him, he’d just have to find out about Shepard later.

“Here, let’s get you over to the med-bay, get you something to drink and we can brief you on what’s happened.”

He welcomed the drink; he hadn’t noticed how thirsty he had been. Something about sleeping for six hundred years, maybe? Is this how Javik had felt when they had woken him up? He suddenly felt regret at not having been more accommodating of his circumstances. A bit too late for that, though.

It took him a while to regain stability, but his muscles weren’t too sore. He didn’t feel too different from before he stepped into the pod. It was scary how it seemed like it had only been minutes since he’d been in the Milky Way. He shuddered at the thought.

After he had downed the drink, an Asari doctor checked up on his vitals, hand-eye coordination, and motor skills. She reminded him a bit too much of Liara and his heart shrunk slightly. Asari lived for long times, so it was completely possible that she’d still be out there kicking ass. He smiled at the thought, it was comforting in an unsettling way.

The Turian from before walked up to him and helped him up. Garrus had a feeling that he had seen his face before, perhaps from when he first started military training? It didn’t really matter, he didn’t know the man personally.

“Officer Vakarian,” he started.

“Eh, it’s just Vakarian now, I suppose.” This was a new galaxy after all, his old titles meant nothing to him here. The other Turian seemed to hesitate.

“Um, sure. Vakarian. I’m Tiran Kandros, currently in charge of most of the militia related business on the Nexus.” It made sense for a Turian to be in charge, given how geared for servitude they all were. For a second, Garrus wondered if he wasn’t still in Palaven. “I’m afraid there is a lot we need to catch you up on, but we don’t have a lot of time. An abridged version will have to suffice, I’ll brief you on the way. Follow me?”

“Wait, what?” It was pointless to ask, as Kandros was already marching towards the door. Garrus hurried up to follow him, wherever it was he was going. “Talk about hitting the ground running…” 

Is this how Shepard had felt? Brought back from the dead, gun shoved into her hands and sent marching to deal with mechs? He used to laugh at her exasperation whenever she told the story. However, now that he found himself in the same situation, he realised how awful it must have been for her, how disorientated she must have been. 

Kandros was fast. Garrus hardly had the time to take in all his surroundings. Everything smelled of cheap detergent and disinfectant. Too sterile; too clinical. He spotted the odd scientist in one of the rooms, but the rest of the place was hauntingly bare, no other civilians walking around like he had expected. The rooms were similar to one another, and after the third turn, he was unable to distinguish the hallways from each other. Having just woken up from a 600-year nap probably didn’t help, either. Kandros briefly mentioned each room’s name and where they were in relation to the cryo-station, but the words weren’t really taking in.

He spotted a guard every few doors. They all looked strained and somewhat unsettled, but they all gave Kandros a firm salute whenever they spotted him. Garrus awkwardly gave them a curt nod, not sure what the proper etiquette was here on the Nexus. One thing was clear to him, though. The situation was tense and very different from the golden experience that they were raving about in the master classes back in the Milky Way.

Finally, the doors opened to an empty transport shuttle. Both men silently took a seat as the transport started moving, the quiet rumble filling the silence.

“I’m sorry, Offi– Vakarian. As I said, it’s been a nightmare trying to deal with everything. I’m lucky they woke you up now, although we really could have used someone with your history when this all started.” He caught Garrus’ confused look and awkwardly coughed. The poor man was under a lot of stress, it seemed. “Right, catching you up…”

“I’d really appreciate that, yeah.”

“A lot has happened, I’m sure you can get a more detailed report later, but long story short, Andromeda is nothing like what we expected. Not like we were expecting a walk in the park, mind you, we were all aware of the risk coming here posed. But we hit this thing called The Scourge when we came over. It destabilised almost all our systems. It’s a miracle the Nexus made it; we’ve had no news from the other arcs. 

“Scientists are trying to understand what The Scourge actually is, but we believe it’s the reason none of the planets we surveyed for colonies are actually viable. We’ve sent a group to investigate the nearest planet, but the news aren’t very uplifting…”

That… was a lot to take in. “Talk about a rocky start…”

Kandros nodded, slumping forward slightly. “Right. We don’t have a lot of resources right now. It makes people nervous. Nervous of what’s to come, thinking it’s been a mistake… But it’s not like we can hop back to the Milky Way.”

Garrus nodded. He imagined where this was going, judging by the lack of civilians and how tense the guards were. “Let me guess, people are complaining this isn’t the golden experience they were sold?”

The other man gave a dry laugh, almost like a scoff, followed by a long sigh. Ouch, Garrus felt bad for him.

“Basically. You slept through the best part, the mutiny. Oh, what a joy,” Kandros leaned back against the seat and gave Garrus a sideway glance. “There was unrest, there was no way of sustaining that many people until we founded an outpost, so the Director suggested to send them back into stasis. It sparked a revolt; we’ve exiled almost everyone who participated and then we kicked the Krogans out of the Nexus.”

Garrus groaned. Awake for less than an hour and this already sounded like a nightmare. It looked like sapient species were really doomed to repeat their mistakes again and again. “You kicked the Krogans out? _Really_?” He inadvertently rolled his eyes. “They still haven’t forgiven us for the Genophage and now they’ve been kicked out of the Nexus? We’re not gonna live that one down.”

Kandros raised his hands in defence. “It wasn’t my idea. Personally, I think this is all a shitshow. And we still have no Pathfinders so we have to make do with what we can, which means I’m stuck with cleaning up the mess.”

Garrus hummed along in sympathy. He felt bad for Kandros, but he was still utterly confused. “So, Kandros… Where exactly is it we’re going? And why is the Initiative waking people up from stasis when we have no resources to support ourselves?”

“Yeah, that’s what I was just getting at. I keep getting caught up in venting, sorry,” he let out another sigh before continuing. “Right, I’m sure you have a lot of questions about Shepard. You did wake up screaming about her.”

Garrus’ heart almost burst out of his chest. He wasn’t quite ready for this. He was almost scared to listen what the next words would be.

“So, I’ve only been told the details recently, considering I’m still technically a civilian… This was classified information in the Milky Way. Only the founder and some of the senior members were aware of the whole situation. Don’t ask me why. Turns out, Shepard survived, somehow. I don’t know the whole story, but she was in a critical situation and the doctors weren’t sure she would recover at all. The Alliance deemed it a risk to announce that her body had been found, or that she was in the ICU, in case she didn’t make it.”

“She was always one to beat the odds, wasn’t she?” Even though he cracked the equivalent of a smile, he couldn’t hide how nervous he was, how much he was dreading to hear the bad news that would inevitably follow. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear the conclusion to the story.

“Yeah. By the time she was out of the critical condition, she was already being mourned. Everyone heard the news that Shepard had sacrificed herself in order to save the Galaxy. Turns out, having her come back from the dead twice was bad PR, so the easiest way to get rid of the problem was to sign her up for the Initiative. They were ecstatic. Having Shepard on-board was a game-changer. It would give people hope. Especially useful for moments like these, with all the horrible things we’re facing right now.”

 _Shit_. Garrus forgot to breathe for a couple of seconds. Shepard was _alive_ , and she was in _Andromeda_? She wasn’t dead, like he had thought after the Reapers had been destroyed. She wasn’t alive but stuck 600-odd-years in the past, therefore, still technically dead. All the stories that kept running through his head about how Shepard had lived on, moved on and married someone else – it’s as if his mind wanted to torture him whenever he pictured Kaidan and his smug face as the groom – and maybe even started a family, grown old and died had all been fiction. He _hadn’t_ missed out on a reunion! She was here. In this galaxy. He unconsciously let out the sigh he had been holding since he heard the news, back in the Milky Way; 600 years overdue... Garrus was so happy he could almost hug Kandros. 

The other man noticed how Garrus’ expression turned bright. His eyes turned downwards, expression stern. “I’m afraid it’s not all good news, Vakarian. This is the reason we’ve taken you out of stasis.” He waited until he had Garrus’ attention; it didn’t take long. “Shepard’s pod was lost during the chaos of the revolt. We’re not sure what exactly happened, but we believe it was smuggled out of the cryo-bay amidst all the commotion. We had a trail to follow. We even sent a team to try and recover it, but they didn’t have much luck.”

So much for feeling relieved. His mind worked through all the possible outcomes. The probability of a pod getting damaged and therefore killing the recipient was too high if it wasn’t stored properly. It could be possible that Shepard was dead after all. His head was starting to hurt from overthinking. This wasn’t good for his heart. “What do you mean Shepard’s pod was stolen? Why would anyone do that? How would they even know to take exactly Shepard’s pod?” He had too many questions… What an emotional rollercoaster. He was starting to understand why Kandros looked and sounded so damned miserable.

“The information that Shepard was aboard must have been leaked. It was only classified information while we were on the Milky Way, so it’s not like it was strictly a secret. However, like I said before, Shepard represents hope for many of us. I believe it is the boldest statement the exiled could have made. They’ve essentially left us hopeless.”

The shuttle doors pinged and opened, alerting both men. Garrus still had a lot of questions he needed answered. He still didn’t even know where they were going or what his mission would be, although he was starting to suspect the answer to the latter.

Kandros hesitated before standing up, and he waited by the doorway for Garrus, making no attempt to continue forward. Their conversation wasn’t finished.

“There were some high-profile members of the Nexus amongst the exiles. They would have had access to the cryo-bay and the authorisation to operate within, as well as the means to identify Shepard and smuggle her out. We already sent a reconnaissance team to investigate the whereabouts of the exiles, as I said, they came back empty handed. We can’t afford to keep sending teams after them. Not with so many of us in peril, which is why we’re relying on you, Vakarian. We believe that your personal… connection to Shepard will make this mission a success. Bring back Shepard, Vakarian. At all costs.”

Garrus didn’t have to be told twice. He couldn’t disappoint them. Not because he cared about what the Initiative thought, or because he was trying to impress some faceless names out there. He couldn’t disappoint them because he’d be disappointing himself. He _needed_ Shepard. He needed to find her. So many things could go wrong if her pod was in the hands of those exiles. He would’ve never thought he’d take a mission this seriously, even more seriously than hunting Saren or killing Sidonis. No, this meant even more to him.

“I will, Kandros. I promise you.” And he wasn’t lying, he wasn’t trying to sound amicable or obedient. He meant every word.

“Good. I’m sorry about this whole situation, telling you so many horrible news before sending you on a mission before you’re even awake for an hour. But you understand the urgency, right? Without Pathfinders, Shepard is our only hope. And I know how much she means to you.” He squeezed his shoulder, patting his back before pointing towards the end of the hallway. “Your locker is in that room. The rest of the team is waiting for you, they’ll give you a much more detailed brief. Again, I’m sorry.”

Garrus nodded. He waved Kandros off with a nod and started heading towards the room. 

“Good luck, Vakarian. I hope to see you back on the Nexus soon.”


	3. Chapter 2

The doors opened quietly.

Much like the rest of what he had seen of the Nexus, the room was clinical and minimalistic. White walls and white floors, informational posters on the walls and the odd plant in a corner in an attempt to make the place feel more alive. He stayed by the door, almost refusing to walk in. All his life, there had been a clear hierarchy to heed: follow or be followed. He answered to his seniors at the C-Sec; to Shepard in the Normandy; and he had a squad that followed his orders back on Omega. It was always clear. But here on the Nexus, he had no clue what to expect. He was no longer Archangel, the vigilante of Omega, or Officer Vakarian, Reaper Advisor for the Hierarchy. Here, previous titles didn’t seem to matter. He wasn’t sure who he was supposed to answer to. What the procedures were like.

A couple of Turians noticed him by the door and he gave an awkward cough, slowly making his way towards the lockers, attempting to find his. They gave him a curt nod and went back to getting their suits ready for the mission. They looked so young; they had probably only served in the Hierarchy for a few years before coming over to the new galaxy. He suddenly felt out-of-place and weirdly alien, despite being amongst his own species.

He wanted to introduce himself, mention that he was here for the mission to rescue Shepard, maybe even enquire if they even knew who Shepard was – as strange as the notion of _not_ _knowing_ Shepard was – but before he could do so he was interrupted by a loud voice from the adjacent room.

A Human burst through the door, stomping towards the centre of the room, and hastily opening the locker with enough force that some of his stuff spilled out. He huffed and readied his fist but stopped himself before he could punch it. Garrus unconsciously took a step backwards. He did _not_ want to get on this guy’s bad side... 

The man heard him shifting and turned around. His red face changed in a split second, from angry, to surprised, to relieved. He exhaled and crossed the room towards Garrus. He might have been shorter than the average Human, but Garrus still didn’t want to piss the man off. He had a menacing aura, accentuated by his thick eyebrows. Still, he extended his hand forward, the traces of his apparent anger disappearing and leaving way for a bright smile.

“Garrus Vakarian, right?” Garrus only nodded while firmly squeezing his hand in a handshake. “Thank god. I feel slightly bad for just screaming at Director Tann, having you here is certainly a gamechanger.”

So it seemed. Garrus was slightly miffed that everyone seemed to be one step ahead of him and somehow assumed he was on-board as well. He supposed he couldn’t really help it, having just been woken up. But he’d certainly appreciate more clarity and less urgency next time he woke up from stasis.

“I gather you’re the one leading this reconnaissance mission, then?”

The man nodded, scratching his bald head. “Indeed I am. I’m assuming Kandros has already briefed you in? Poor guy, he’s so overworked... I get that securing Shepard is imperative for the Initiative, but we’ve wasted so many resources on this mission already, resources that would be better spent actually saving the civilians. That’s what I was just screaming at the Director for. No offense, I know Shepard is special to you, I just don’t want another uprising.”

“None taken.” He knew the stakes involved in this. He wondered, were he in charge of the Initiative would he have given up the search of Shepard in favour of saving resources? Probably not, but to these people, Shepard was nothing more than a symbol. He didn’t understand why they were so insistent on rescuing her, but it worked out in his favour, so he wasn’t about to start complaining. No matter how unprofessional they had been in briefing him in.

“Good. Just call me Bain. I don’t like people calling me by my surname. I might be the leader of the mission, but I don’t really care for titles and respect... We’re all the same here, and we need to listen to each other if we want to make it back to the Nexus. I know what you Turians are like, but we don’t need that here.” He winced slightly when he realised he had criticised the three Turians in the room. “Sorry, no offense.”

“None taken,” Garrus repeated. He was intrigued by this man, casual but focused. He could work with that. “So, what can you tell me about this whole mission? I’ve been given a very abridged version of all the major events since we hit Andromeda, but I do need to know where we’re going, what to expect, that sort of thing… I have just woken up, after all.”

Bain nodded. “Yeah, of course. We’re set for departure in an hour. I’ll fill you in on the juicy details when we’re on our way, but mission first. The first strike team returned empty handed, only two of the members came back. But they did bring back invaluable information that will hopefully give us better odds at succeeding. Here’s your locker, by the way.” He pointed to the one two spaces to the right from the one he almost punched earlier. Garrus opened it. Everything was intact. Good.

“Well, as I was saying. We believe the culprit for smuggling Shepard was the head of security. She joined the rebellion almost last minute when things were most hectic and right after we had kicked the Krogans out. Seems like the perfect time to smuggle a cryo-pod out. The first team set out to track the trail of the shuttle the exiles were stuffed into. The planet they landed on was just an abandoned wasteland, maybe they did an emergency stop or suspected they were being followed, but we received an update from Kandros not long ago. We’re pretty sure they’re currently in the operating port of Kadara.”

“Kadara?”

“My bad, I don’t know why I just assumed you would know. One of the planets we surveyed. It’s liveable, nothing inherently dangerous for settlers, water’s a bit iffy but it’s nothing a good filter can’t solve. The problem is, it’s ruled by an alien race. Well, we’re the aliens in this situation but you get me.”

“I’m guessing they’re not too friendly.” Usually happened with first contact. The Milky Way had proved it time and again.

“I wouldn’t say they’re unfriendly but sending thousands upon thousands of colonists from the Nexus probably wouldn’t make for a good first impression. I’m no diplomat, but even I can see how that’d be a risky move.” Bain finished putting his armour on and fished out a few things from his locker before closing it hastily. “But there are less exiles than colonists, not counting the ones probably lost on the way, so it suddenly becomes a viable option for settling down, I guess. Beats drifting across the galaxy and starving. Either way, that is where we believe they’re at right now, and with you here we actually stand a chance to get her back and deal with the exiles that smuggled her out.”

Garrus couldn’t help his mandibles from flickering into a Turian grin. He felt cocky, full of pride at the fact that to this intimidating man, having him on-board meant all the difference between failure and success. It felt good that his efforts in the war were still being recognised in a different galaxy, even if titles no longer meant much anymore.

“Well, Vakarian, whenever you’re ready come through to the other room. I’ll introduce you to the rest of the squad.” Bain gave a quick nod and marched back to the room he originally came from.

Garrus looked through his locker. It only felt like it had been a few weeks since he sent it away, but it was good to see his stuff had withstood the journey effortlessly. He grabbed the frame with his father and sister and smiled. It still hadn’t fully sunk in that they were gone, no longer there. He quickly put it back down before the thoughts turned dark and reached for his visor instead. He had felt almost naked without it. It felt good to have it back. His fingers got caught on the fabric of the hoodie. Garrus felt relieved to see it; it no longer brought him despair. No, Shepard was alive now. This was no longer a memento. It was something he could return to her when they finally reunited. Suddenly remembering the two other Turians in the room, he stopped himself from checking if it still smelled like Shepard 600-odd-years later. No, he had to make a good impression.

Grabbing it and stuffing with the rest of his things he made his way to the room where Bain had disappeared into.

* * *

The shuttle they used to make their way to Kadara reminded him of the ones in the Hierarchy, back when he had just started his military training. It brought back a lot of memories. Memories of being nervous of screwing up, of being intimidated by older recruits, of feeling relieved after realising they were all on the same boat and were not as different as he thought.

When he looked at the rest of the team – there were nine other recruits – he realised this time it wasn’t that much different. It was a mixed team, mostly Human, a couple of Salarians and the two Turians from the locker room. None of them really knew each other, although a lot of them had _heard of him_ , and they were all worried about the success of the mission. Having only two of the members return from the first mission probably didn’t help their ease their feelings. But Garrus was confident. He knew that whenever Shepard was involved things usually turned out fine. They had for as long as he had known her, and they had been through a lot of improbable things together.

They had a lot of time to kill before they were anywhere near Kadara’s orbit, time that he spent learning the rest of the squad’s names and military experience – he avoided asking about their past, as he was aware that leaving their past behind was probably one of the reasons they had come to Andromeda in the first place. Bain gave him a detailed report of every major incident that had happened since they arrived in Andromeda, coupled in with some unsavoury notes about people he had gotten to know since he had gotten out of cryo. He was funny, albeit somewhat inappropriate. He liked that about him, though. It reminded him of the time he spent with certain crew members aboard the Normandy. 

It didn’t take long for the man to start asking him questions about the war, about the Reapers and mostly about Shepard. He was fascinated, having been lucky enough to stay out of the Reapers’ reach for the entirety of the war, with no real casualties. His only experience of the atrocities of war had been through news channels and extranet articles.

Garrus tried his best to comply.

He didn’t want to talk too much about the war. Everyone could research what had happened. It had been covered everywhere. And Garrus wasn’t sure he’d ever forgive the authorities for not listening to Shepard until it was too late. Everyone liked talking about the war and how the galaxy was saved, but none of the journalists focused too much on what had happened backstage.

He told him stories of the Normandy crew: the ridiculous arguments he would get into with Vega and Joker and that time Jack and Miranda almost killed each other; he told him about Zaeed and his drunken antics in Shepard’s apartment and how he had met and worked with a justicar. How uncomfortable he had been around Samara at the start in case he did something that upset her code, but how he had found himself joking with her by the end of their journey. He told them about their side-missions, about fighting Cerberus soldiers, studying conspiracies, how sometimes it felt like nothing went right but they could never afford to lose hope.

He tried painting Shepard in a different light. To almost everyone in the Galaxy she was a symbol, a hardened soldier and saviour, distant from the average citizen and therefore idolised and put on a pedestal, but she was so much more than that. She was a person, not a saint. Garrus could list a lot of questionable things she had done in the time he had known her. Things that might have sounded atrocious to the average citizen that now admired her but were necessary at the time. She always had good intentions behind her actions, but life had put her in a difficult spot. It made her more relatable, to know that she had flaws just like the rest of them. He told them about her horrible dancing, her penchant for bartering with vendors, how much she cared about her team – a quality that sometimes also made her feel meddlesome.

When he finished answering Bain’s questions, he noticed how the rest of the squad was listening in. It felt nice to recount all the stories, stories he hadn't had the audience for. Stories he hadn't felt like telling his family.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I’m having some trouble here,” the pilot shouted from the front. “We’re about to land in Kadara but I’m picking up something on the radar.”

Oh, that didn’t sound good. “Is the source hostile?”

“I don’t know, Sir. I think they’re tracking us.”

The pilot suddenly lost control of the shuffle, causing it to shake violently and rattling everything inside. They didn’t need to be told twice to sit down and buckle up.

“What’s happening?” exclaimed Bain. Shuttles weren’t known to do this when entering the orbit of a planet.

“Sir, the shuttle!” The pilot was fighting hard to regain control of the ship, his voice strained. “We’re being hacked! Someone’s attempting to crash our landing! I thought you said the aliens were cautious but not hostile!”

Bain undid his buckle and rushed towards the front. “Fuck. It must be the exiles. That’s how they’ve been able to survive, they’re probably raiding Nexus ships for supplies.”

“Sir, but we’re only a shuttle.”

“Doesn’t matter to them. They must be getting desperate.” Bain looked back towards the rest of the crew. It wasn’t looking good. The crew was starting to get nervous. Garrus tried his best to maintain a calm demeanour. “Okay, prepare for an emergency landing everyone! We’ve surveyed the planet before, there shouldn’t be too many setbacks once we land. Activate manual controls, that should be enough to distract the hackers for a split second to take back control of the ship. Try landing whenever you get a chance. Get your guns ready, the exiles must be nearby, so let’s take them out if we get the chance.”

“Roger, Sir!”

Garrus held on tightly. He’d experienced enough emergency landings in his lifetime that he knew what to expect, but it didn’t make him less nervous every time one happened. He wasn’t sure why anyone would want to raid a transport shuttle, but he thought back to Omega. Desperate times, desperate measures.

He heard Bain screaming out of frustration, the pilot cursing at the console and the crew rustling incessantly. Finally, the shuttle stopped shaking; they’d regained control even if only for a split second. The pilot initiated the emergency descent onto the ground and Garrus hoped that the crash wouldn’t completely destroy the shuttle. He hated when that happened. 


	4. Chapter 3

The crash was bad. Not the worst Garrus had been involved with – Reapers had the ability to make everything worse – and at least no one had been gravely injured, but it still rendered their shuttle mostly useless. It would take a while to repair it, and while it seemed to be able to hover on the ground, it would be unable to fly again for the time being. Kadara’s surface was extremely rocky, so at least they had been lucky enough to crash on a relatively flat surface.

Bain and the pilot had come out unscathed, so they immediately tried to salvage anything they could from the vehicle and checked the cockpit to see if they could get the communications back online to report back to the Nexus. Meanwhile, Garrus tried his best to tend to his injuries and the rest of the team’s. They had been minor, nothing medi-gel and a bandage couldn’t fix, but he still wanted to make sure everyone was okay. It was probably the first proper mission for a few of them and crashing wasn’t the best way to get a mission started.

Still, they were alert. It was possible that whoever had crashed their vehicle was roaming around, so Bain sent Garrus to lead a small squad to check their surroundings. They encountered no one. It was likely that whoever had hacked them hadn’t expected them to actually survive. Having a full-armoured squad scout the area probably scared them off for good. The squad came back empty handed, but at least they had scouted the nearby area. Nothing seemed particularly dangerous, no sign of wildlife either. 

Garrus heard Bain grunt and kick something. “Turn on, you piece of scrap!”

“I’m sure kicking fixed whatever the problem was, Bain,” he couldn’t hold back the remark.

“It’s not like I’m kicking it hard enough to make it any worse!” When the device gave no sign of life after being battered, he let out a big sigh. “Comms are off, guys. Looks like we’re stuck in Kadara for the time being. No return tickets.” Bain emerged from the shuttle, trying to keep his frustration at bay. He gave everyone on the team a once-over and slumped down to the ground.

“We can fix comms. As long as you don’t keep _battering_ the shuttle, Bain.” The pilot emerged after Bain. “We just need the pieces. They’re not too hard to find, either; run of the mill. I’m sure we can find them at the trading port. Isn’t that Kadara Port over there?”

Everyone looked at where the pilot was pointing. Indeed, they could see buildings in the distance. There were no other similar structures nearby, so if anything, that was their only shot at finding a way to repair the shuttle.

“Yeah, we were _originally_ planning on landing there, glad to see we didn’t stray too much. Guess there’s nothing else we can do.”

“And even if we don’t get the shuttle working, we can probably establish a connection with Kandros once we’re there, too.”

Bain seemed convinced enough to stand back up. “Alright, sounds like a plan. It doesn’t look too far, maybe half an hour?” He looked around at the rest of the team, all lying down in the shuttle’s shadow, probably still recovering from the adrenaline rush. “Those exiles that hacked us might still be nearby, and it’d be daft to leave the shuttle unattended...”

He pondered for a few seconds before a plan mustered in his mind. “Right guys, none of you are too injured, so I’m gonna need the best of you to stay behind and guard the shuttle. Remember, shoot first, ask questions later. We’ll hopefully be back before sunset, but if we’re not, there’s rations inside to keep you fit.”

Bain helped them up to their feet, then he nodded towards Garrus. “Vakarian, you’re coming with me. Two or three more can come with us, but we can’t have a party too large barge into Kadara Port in full armour without raising a lot of questions.”

That seemed reasonable. Garrus agreed. He picked up his weapons and debated on whether to bring the hoodie, but there was no guarantee they’d be finding Shepard’s pod today anyways. And it wasn’t like the shuttle was going anywhere. He decided against it.

“We better start heading soon, it’s almost afternoon and it doesn’t seem to be getting any cooler around here.” He motioned to Bain, who nodded and started walking. One of the Turians and another Human followed them. The rest of the squad gave them a small salute and stayed behind.

The walk to the city wasn’t entirely unpleasant. Garrus still felt a bit shaken up by their rough landing and the midday heat didn’t help, but at least the view was worth it. The sky was impossibly blue, stretching over his head and providing a nice contrast to the earthy orange of the mountain range that seemed to be tall and ever-present. The more he looked, the taller the mountains seemed to get. It made him feel insignificant in comparison. It was oddly beautiful and calming. Everything was quiet, desolate. The only sounds being the group’s footsteps and huffs for breath.

Of all the planets the exiles could have smuggled Shepard to, he was alright with Kadara. It certainly could have been worse.

Bain was uncharacteristically quiet, more focused on wiping away the sweat from his forehead and trying to stay cool. The other two guys were probably too intimidated, shy, or shaken up by the whole situation to talk. Garrus didn’t blame them, but he didn’t quite feel like making small conversation either. 

“Goddamnit! How much hotter will it get?” Bain muttered under his breath.

“At least we haven’t met any hostiles.” Although Garrus had come to associate lack of hostile resistance as a sign that something wasn’t right, and that trouble was brewing.

“Bain, look! We’re almost there!” The other Turian pointed excitedly at the horizon.

And there it loomed. It hadn’t really taken them that long to reach the city. Kadara Port stood tall and grey, a similarly tall gate separating the city from the rest of Kadara. Two small metal fences separated the ground into a wide path leading up to the place. What surprised him the most were the makeshift tents that started coming into view, scattered on either side of the path. The hot sun had mostly everyone hiding. Or perhaps they had heard the group approach and were weary of showing their heads. The tents didn’t seem too secure, or sturdy, and he assumed most exiles didn’t have a lot of combat experience, so he could only imagine how scary being out in the open would be. He felt bad for them. There were a few people brave enough to sit outside in the heat, the majority Human. They looked at the group with distrust in their eyes.

The two squad-members behind him started muttering between each other.

“Do you think these people will have something to fix the shuttle?”

“I doubt it, we might have better luck inside the city. I just hope they let us in, have you seen how many tents there are?”

Garrus winced, they really could stand to be a slightly quieter. He glanced at the exiles, nothing indicated that they had heard the two guys. However, he didn’t have time to reprimand them and tell them to shut it.

In a split second he heard shuffling and quick movement. He looked around, trying to detect any heat or movement through his visor, but it was too late. He heard the gun go off. He held his breath as his mind started working overdrive. Before he realised what he was doing he muttered a quiet ‘Duck!’ under his breath and hid behind one of the metal walls. Thankfully, the rest of the squad followed suit, just in time for Garrus to see the bullet flying above him.

 _Spirits_! 

He heard a few screams. All the exiles who were loitering outside quickly made their way inside the flimsy tents. _Smart move_ , thought Garrus. He hated when civilians got mixed up in these things.

“Fuck, is it the exiles that hacked us?” Bain loaded his gun before briefly peeking above the wall, trying to figure out who was shooting at them.

“I don’t think so, I think I only heard one person.” At least he knew where the bullet came from. It wouldn’t take him too long to take the perpetrator out.

He turned to the side, looking at where he had heard the rustling. His visor picked up the heat. The person was waiting behind one of the crates next to one of the tents, on the other side of the fence. He preferred working long-range, taking his target out in the distance, but this would have to suffice for now. He held his breath and readied his rifle, ready to snipe them the moment they so much peeked around the corner.

“Wait,” whispered Bain. “Don’t kill them! If it’s only one person we might be able to incapacitate them and question them. If they’re out here, chances are they’re an exile! They might have an idea as to where Shepard is.”

Garrus scowled. “What’s the point of that when we can just walk inside and get information there?” He made sure to monitor the other person, not letting them out of his sight.

“I don’t think it’ll be that easy, judging by the tents. Doubt anyone is here on a fun campsite vacation.” Bain spoke urgently. “Look, I’m usually a ‘shoot first ask later’ kinda guy, but just go with this for once. It’s four on one, they won’t stand a chance.”

“Spirits…” he cursed. He took a deep breath. But Bain was right, it wouldn’t hurt to try. They had been distracted by the heat and the tents, that was the only reason the other person got a jump on them. He just had to pray that it wasn’t a trap. That dozen armed guys weren’t waiting inside the tents for the opportunity of an ambush.

“You there! The one who just shot at us. Listen, I usually don’t do this, but hear me out,” he shouted over the wall, hoping the other person was able to understand him. “Give it up, it’s one of you versus four veterans. It’s a fight you can’t win.”

His visor didn’t pick up any changes. The person remained still. He groaned, lying had never been his strong suit and it was obvious two of the recruits weren’t really that experienced. He just had to hope he had sounded convincing enough.

“I repeat, this isn’t a fight you want to pick! I’ve got a gun trained on you so don’t try anything funny. We just want to talk to some people inside Kadara Port, we don’t mean any harm. As long as we don’t get shot at again, we will not start anything.” Shit, maybe the other person wasn’t able to understand him. Kadara was mostly inhabited by that alien race Bain had told him about. He was about to give up when the heatmap shifted. The person had stood up and was about to peek outside the corner.

“Don’t try anything funny! Drop your gu-“ but before he could finish his sentence, he heard the sound of weapons hitting the floor. The person slowly rose from behind the crate, hands up in the air.

“Garrus!?” That voice! “Garrus! It really is you!”

“Liara?” No, it couldn’t be. This was his mind playing tricks on him. He slowly lowered his rifle and had a long look. He would recognise her anywhere. It was Liara alright. She looked tired, her posture slightly more tense than usual, clothes slightly dusty with orange soil. He sighed in relief and wasn’t sure if it was due to avoiding a fight right outside Kadara Port’s gate, or because it was reassuring to find at least one known face in this new galaxy. Probably a mix of both.

The Asari brushed the dust from her clothes and picked up her weapon, putting it back in the holster. She checked her surroundings and made her way over to where they were. The other three looked confused. Garrus realised they’d have a lot to explain. How would he even begin to explain?

“I’m sorry.” Liara looked between the four of them. “Exiles have been coming in large groups and they’re not always friendly. These people outside have been through a lot, so the least I can do is make sure they’re as safe as they can be. They have enough on their plate as it is.”

“I get it, don’t worry.” Bain flashed a big smile at her, “You did a brave thing. I would have done the same thing for my men.”

Wait, was Bain trying to _hit_ _on_ her? Garrus had to hold back a snicker. Liara didn’t seem to notice, and if she did, she hid it really well.

“Is the situation really that bad?”

“You just have to look around you. There’s a lot to explain, but a hostile alien species has been terrorising the people in Andromeda. Kadara Port was prosperous because of its trading routes, and the Angara have lived here for centuries, but they’re too scared to travel now. Exiles have started raiding each other and any ship that passes to try and sell stuff to them. It’s a nightmare.”

Garrus scowled. Did every galaxy _need_ a shithole place full of pirates? “Well, at least this time it’s an actual planet and not a floating rock…”

“It isn’t as bad as Omega. Well, not yet at least…” Liara gave him a small smile. “There’s a lot to discuss, Garrus.”

“Yeah, mind filling me in on how you two know each other?” Bain interrupted.

“Also, we really should be getting the parts for the comm and the shuttle,” said the other Human.

Liara gasped. “Oh, so that’s what you were coming here for?”

“Amongst other things, yeah.” Garrus scratched the back of his head. He wasn’t sure what he was allowed to say, how much of the information was classified, _even_ if Liara was one of his oldest friends.

“Well, you’re lucky! An Angaran mechanic has provided us with some of supplies, I’m sure we can find something you can use. I’ll find a way to replace them later.”

***

It didn’t take long for Liara to come back, Bain happily attached to her heel. They did manage to find a few things that would fix the comms. Whether the shuttle would be fit to fly afterwards remained to be seen. 

The way back to the shuttle was just as exhausting as the first trip, but everyone was a lot more talkative this time. Liara and Garrus briefly explained how they knew each other. The other three were ecstatic to find out she had been on the Normandy, and Bain promptly asked her about stories of her time with Shepard. Garrus let them to their own devices.

The shuttle was just where they had left it, and the squad was idly chatting in its shadow. Their lack of tension was comforting, at least _they_ hadn’t been attacked while they were gone. The rest of the squad was happy to see them return safe and sound, and relieved to see they had brought back supplies.

They got to work right away. Garrus gave the pilot and a few other squad members a helping hand when repairing the shuttle comms; it had been a while since he had repaired a vehicle, but he was still confident in his skills. It wasn’t broken beyond repair, but it still took a lot of tinkering around. Liara stood back and watched carefully.

“So, what are you doing here, Liara?”

“I suspect I’m here for the same reason you are.” Her words were carefully measured. Garrus had known her long enough to recognise the way her tone shifted. She was being cautious.

“Glad to know you also love crashing and getting stranded in planets full of rogue pirates.”

“You know what I mean, Garrus.” She gave an exasperated sigh. “I know you’re here for Shepard.”

Garrus stopped what he was doing and looked at her, the screwdriver almost falling from his hands. The rest of the team went quiet. 

“A full armed squad with a shuttle suddenly arriving at Kadara is no coincidence.” Her eyes darted around the shuttle, stopping briefly at all the curious faces that were now staring at her. “I was part of the first reconnaissance team Kandros sent out. We were tracking the trail the exiles left behind but our ship got stranded in another planet. It had been a decoy. There was a lot of traffic from inbound Angaran ships, mixed with some smaller exile shuttles. It was impossible to single out their trace.”

“Wait, I thought only two people made it back from that mission!” exclaimed Bain.

“Yeah… There was an ambush and I got separated from the rest of the squad. It seemed dangerous to stay there, especially alone and without many supplies, so I found a group of nomad exiles and convinced them that I had also been exiled from the Nexus and my ship had been ambushed. They were happy to take me onboard. I figured if they were leaving in large groups, I had a better chance of surviving. That’s how I got to Kadara.”

Liara crossed her arms and paced around the room. She was restless, Garrus could tell. Whatever she was going to say next wasn’t probably going to be good news. Hell had there been _any_ good news since he had woken up?

She took a deep breath before continuing. “Turns out, I was _lucky_ to land in Kadara. This is where the majority of exiles end up. They were really chatty, a lot of them were looking forward to just getting somewhere safe and sound. But things weren’t that great. Kadara Port is governed by Angara, and they were accommodating enough, but the threat of hostile aliens was bad enough to terrify them into inaction. You’ve seen the state of the place, a lot of them are struggling, but there’s someone who’s been rallying them up. Someone who says they still have hope.”

“Hope…” It clicked. “Oh no.”

“Yeah. Sloane Kelly was Head of Security at the Nexus. She’s the one that smuggled Shepard’s pod out during The Uprising. As far as I know, Shepard’s still in her pod, but Sloane is using it as strategy to unite the people. She keeps promising that once Shepard wakes up, they can get rid of the kett and win the Angara over. Turn this into a proper Milky Way settlement, even challenge the Nexus.”

“Kett?” Bain asked.

“The hostile aliens. I haven’t seen one yet, they’ve stayed far away from Kadara Port so far, but they’re still a threat. And Sloane Kelly is promising to eradicate them. And she’s the one that has her pod and probably the means to wake her up from stasis. As soon as I found out I got in contact with Kandros and explained the situation, which is why he gathered a new team. We don’t want Shepard to fall into the wrong hands again.”

Garrus was confused. Why was Liara in Andromeda in the first place? And he couldn’t deny that he was slightly hurt that he had been option number two for Kandros. He was sure there was a reason behind it, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. It had worked out regardless, and the important thing was to reunite with Shepard, he told himself. Any of his personal feelings in the matter had to be put aside. He needed his focus on the mission.

He cleared his throat. “I’m guessing this Kelly won’t be too happy to part with Shepard. We need to find a way to get her out of her clutches.”

“Yeah, I’ve been trying to find as much information as I can. There are a lot of people who don’t believe her. They say she’s lying about Shepard, or that Shepard’s dead and this is just propaganda. A lot of them are curious about Shepard, they probably want to see the truth with their own eyes. I believe finding a way to infiltrate Kelly’s circle might be our best bet at finding Shepard.”

“Sounds good.” Bain finished adjusting a gear on the machine and patted it, almost tenderly. “Looks like we got comms back running, but there’s no way this shuttle’s flying again. We’ll contact Kandros, give him our coordinates and find a solution.”

“Right.” Garrus looked up to Liara, arms crossed and a pensive expression on his face. “Where is it you’re staying Liara? How have you been surviving out here?”

“I managed to befriend the local Angara. I have been volunteering for them, putting the experienced I gained during the war to good use, so they let me rent one of the unoccupied flats in the upper city. I’ll show you around, maybe we could even get something to eat. You must be starving.”

She didn’t have to say it twice. The prospect of food made them work faster to get comms running.

Kandros was relieved to hear from them; contact with the shuttle had been lost after they had been hacked and he wasn’t sure what had happened. While he had been stressed to hear about another crash, it was a relief to see they had all survived. He was especially happy to hear they had encountered Liara, especially since she had gone radio silent after telling him about her lead on Kadara. He was frustrated, tensions on the Nexus were at an all-time high since the Uprising and he was busy trying to clean up the mess. The squad would have to make do with what they found in Kadara for the time being, resources on the Nexus were scarce and they needed all their shuttles for Outposts on the planets. Kandros made them promise to stay in touch whenever they found anything relevant and apologised for not being able to do more. The poor man was overworked.

While it was frustrating to be stuck in Kadara with no means to get out in case the situation turned ugly, they knew finding Shepard could take them a while. At least, Liara knew her way around Kadara Port and the Angara; hopefully luck would be on their side this time.


	5. Chapter 4

They made it to Kadara Port. The shuttle was functional enough it served as a quasi-land-vehicle, hovering on the ground and giving everyone a fright every time it stalled. By the time they arrived at the gates, they were sure that if they wanted to make it off this planet, they would have to purchase a new one or completely overhaul it. It wasn’t like Garrus had gotten attached to the shuttle, but he was still sad that it had met such a tragic demise.

Now that it was almost dusk and the heat had subsided somewhat, there were more people outside the tents. Their eyes were struck with fear and caution, but they smiled at Liara. She was popular in Kadara, it seemed: she spoke to the warden guarding the gate for five minutes and got the entire squad to go through to the city, no questions asked. Garrus was impressed, _they_ probably would have had to wait for days to get in.

The city was a decent size; it had nothing on the major cities back in the Milky Way, but considering it was the first he’d seen since waking up in the Nexus – not that he had been awake for very long – he couldn’t complain.

It raised tall on the base of a mountain. Past the gate he could see rows upon rows of tiny apartments, a few lights already on. He saw a flashy sign in the distance indicating a bar of some sorts, but other than the red neon, the lower ward was dark. Liara explained that because it laid in the shadow of the mountain and the upper city, it only got to see the light during sunset. It was dirty, puddles were everywhere, and it smelled slightly funky. This place was very much the undercity of the port. Garrus thought of the time he spent wandering the seedier parts of Omega. This place evoked the same feeling.

He saw some people wandering outside, mostly going from one place straight to another: no detours. They looked like the exiles outside the gate. According to Liara, once more exiles started appearing, the Angara ran out of free space to house them in, so they resorted to converting the warehouses in the lower wards to tenements. All in all, these Angara had been very accommodating.

The elevator to the upper part of the city was slow and clunky, making a nasty creaking sound that they all tried to ignore. However, all discomfort was forgotten once the doors opened.

Garrus was speechless. Even though it was only the docking area, this part of the city was already so much more colourful than any everything he had seen of Andromeda. It stood in contrast with the pristine clinical Nexus and with the dirty undercity that laid beneath them. A single spaceship stood lonely at the port, likely due to the halt in trade. From the railing, he could see the landscape, now golden from the last sunrays of the day. He let himself bask in the warmth for a few seconds.

The gates to the city were heavy, guarding the inhabitants from any intruders. Since she had lived here for a while now, Liara guided them through the place. The neon signs flashed in a dozen colours, advertising different traders and businesses. The rest of Kadara had seemed so deserted, quiet, but none of that could be felt inside. It was bustling with Angara. They had never seen one before, however, in all their alien-ness, there was something familiar about them. They seemed to be used to the exiles, casually interacting with them, although their eyes were filled with cautiousness and something else, maybe fear?

One wouldn’t think the people in Kadara Port were terrorised by the Kett, with the way they interacted with their environment: Angaran vendors shouting their sales pitches to onlookers, exiles mingling with each other and a drunk Angaran and an exile trudging across the walkway, amongst others. It was as if the people inside the city were completely oblivious to the perils outside. Perhaps the stream of smuggled goods the exiles brought over was enough to make them prosper and careless?

Garrus remembered the desperation of the people dancing in the lower floors of the Afterlife, partying with reckless abandon, ignoring all the issues that were around them. Maybe Kadara Port suffered from the same case of _carpe diem_. 

They received a few curious glances from passers-by, not used to large armed squads going through Kadara Port. The Angara seemed intrigued by their presence, especially once they spotted the Asari walking with them.

Overall, the place was easy to navigate. It wouldn’t take them long to memorise all the important spots they’d be likely to visit. By the end of the tour though, they were exhausted. Probably from the sheer intensity of the events that had transpired since they arrived.

Liara noticed their fatigue and decided to stop for the day. She led them back to the central plaza and down the side, through to a quaint bar.

The bar had a great view of Kadara’s landscape, much like the docking port earlier. The music was loud enough to get a few of the patrons to dance in one of the corners. She led them to a large table on the other side, far away from the drunk patrons nursing their drinks on the bar stools and hurried to speak to the bar owner.

When she came back, the squad was already settled down. She was carrying two large jugs of water, which she set down on the table as she took a seat. “I figured you’d all be hungry. There’s not much in terms of choice, this is a bar after all, but it’s good food regardless. My treat, consider it an apology for shooting at you earlier.” 

The waiter brought two large steaming bowls heaping with food and plates for each one of them. Garrus couldn’t really identify what it was, but it smelled appetizing enough, especially since he hadn't really had the chance to eat.

“Are those… mushrooms?” Bain asked, picking at the bowl closest to him.

“Sort of. They look like mushrooms, but they are a native vegetable species that Angara like to use in most of their recipes.” She scooped a portion onto her plate. “This is one of their specialities. I always have it when I come here. There should be enough for everyone.”

Bain didn’t look too convinced, but his stomach protested against the lack of food, so he had no option but to serve himself a portion.

Liara pushed the other bowl towards Garrus and the other two Turians. “There are a lot of Turian exiles on Kadara. They’ve found a lot of native ingredients that are suitable for you to eat, so here, eat up!” She didn’t have to repeat herself; the two younger Turians had already claimed the bowl.

They ate in silence. The food tasted alien and had a strange texture, but it beat rations and the dried portions they were used to. After a few bites, they even got acquired to the taste and began to enjoy it. So much had happened, that Garrus felt like he hadn’t had a warm meal in a long time.

“So, we need a plan of action…” Garrus decided to break the silence once their stomachs were starting to get full. Liara briefly looked around; the other patrons were too busy drinking and the music drowned out their conversation.

“First of all, you need a place to stay.”

“And we need to find a way to repair that shuttle. I don’t wanna ask Kandros for any resources, his hands are probably tied with all the Nexus drama they push onto him,” Bain said, in between gulps of food.

“I’d rather focus on getting a place to sleep first. It might take a while before we even figure out where she is. No point in worrying about flying before then,” the pilot chimed in.

“Well, we can’t be too conspicuous or else we’ll alert everybody, and we don’t know how Kelly could react.”

Garrus agreed. Finding a place to stay was their priority. “Hmm, so how’s the market for real estate over here, Liara? I’m slightly worried about the waiting list, but we do need a place to stay.”

Liara stood pensive for a few minutes.

“Well, I mean if we can’t find anywhere, I’m happy to camp outside Kadara,” Bain said, trying to find an excuse to break the silence.

“No, that’s alright. I think I might have a solution for you. You guys are well-armed… The Angara might appreciate the smuggled goods the exiles salvage, but I think they’d rather just eradicate the problem in the first place. Most exiles aren’t really in a position to help with the Kett, though. And the ones that have fighting skills like to employ them for other things. I’m sure if you volunteered to help them to get rid of the problem, they’d be willing to find a place for you somewhere in Kadara…”

“Killing hostile aliens?” Bain mused over the idea. “I didn’t know him, but I heard my father was a big-time merc back in the Milky Way. Maybe it’s in my genes after all. I wouldn’t mind giving it a shot. What about you guys?”

Liara chuckled at his wording. It was enough to fluster the man. The rest of the team seemed to agree with the sentiment though. It definitely sounded better than camping outside in the wilderness. And it’d give them a good cover story for when they investigated Shepard’s whereabouts.

* * *

Finding the Angara who governed Kadara Port wasn’t difficult, as Liara was already acquainted with her. She was friendly, albeit somewhat distant from the group. But she seemed to respect the work Liara had done for the Angara so far, and the prospect of security against the Kett was enough to sway her over. She agreed to let them stay in the rooms the Angaran guards used to share. They didn’t have to enquire about the guards’ whereabouts. Her face said it all.

They avoided talking about the real reason they were in Kadara. Rumours always spread fast and if word got out they were planning on securing Shepard’s pod, there was no way to predict how the exiles would react. After all, Shepard was all hope these exiles had in the first place. Their only win against the Nexus.

It had been a long journey, but Garrus was more than ready to start looking for Shepard. _One step at a time_ , he reminded himself. The rest of the squad left to gather their belongings and move to their new quarters, more than ready to sleep and get the day over with. The night was still early though, and he hadn’t seen Liara since the war had ended. She invited him over to her apartment, to grab a few drinks and catch up. They hadn’t had much time to _actually_ talk, not with the whole squad around them.  
  


Liara’s apartment was nice, a quarter of the size of her Illium one, but given the state of Kadara Port, he supposed it was as luxurious as one could get. It was clean, organised and the windows overlooked the bright neon lights of the port.

He was tired from everything that had happened. He was sure he had experienced every single imaginable emotion since he had stepped out of his cryo-pod. He could feel a migraine coming, whether it was from the heat in Kadara or from all the stress of all they’d been through, he didn’t know. He spotted Liara’s couch and didn’t hesitate to slump down on it. He needed the break. Liara gave him an understanding smile and disappeared behind the kitchen counter.

She came back a few minutes later, two glasses in her hand. She took a seat next to him and handed him the blue liquid. With a quiet thanks, he took it from her hands and sipped at it. It tasted sweet.

She gripped her own glass tight between her hands. “Your team seems nice.”

He gave her a small smile. “Yeah, they do. They’re not really _my_ team though. I met them less than 48 hours ago.”

“Really? You could have fooled me. They all have such admiration in their eyes…”

“Something about defeating the Reapers does that to people. They had the same look whenever they heard you talk.”

Liara laughed, the first time since their reunion. “Are you sure it wasn’t just Bain you were looking at? His puppy eyes were something to behold.”

“He would have fit right in the Normandy, then.”

“Oh, then you’d have to watch yourself, Garrus. Might have tried those puppy eyes on Shepard.” 

Both laughed in unison. The pent-up stress they had accumulated started to dissipate. The laughs faded into a quiet silence, and both of them ended up staring mindlessly out of the window. It was comfortable. But Garrus felt the doubts creep back into his mind. There were a lot of things he had been wondering since he met Liara again. Things that made him feel uncomfortable. Things that didn’t add up.

He sighed. “I’ve been meaning to ask you this whole time, but it didn’t feel like the right moment. Not in front of the other guys…” He turned to look at her. “What are you doing here, Liara?”

He saw her shoulders tense up, her knuckles around the half-empty glass growing paler. “I thought I explained already. I pretended to be an exile when my squad got separated and arrived in Kadara with the rest of them.”

He could already tell that this would be a difficult conversation. “You know what I mean. What are you doing in _Andromeda_?”

Liara gulped and turned to meet him eye-to-eye. Her gaze was sharp; she was no longer the soft delicate girl he met all those years ago. She hadn’t been for a long time. “I could ask you the same question, Garrus.”

“Alright, if that’s how you wanna play…” Garrus sighed, defeated. It was clear that attempting to interrogate Liara wouldn’t work. It had been a while since he had left C-Sec, his skills probably needed honing. He had to take the direct approach. “I’ve suspected this since I saw you here. I mean, it’s the only thing that makes sense. You knew Shepard was alive from the start, didn’t you?”

Liara’s eyes widened, her mouth slightly opening in surprise. Garrus knew he had hit bullseye. “I… Garrus…”

“ _Damn it_! Liara…” The whisper he let out was full of pain. His brow-plates knit together. He felt a turmoil of emotions. Anger, but more pronounced was the disappointment he felt. Disappointment over the fact that he had grieved for so long when she had known the truth all along.

“Garrus, please listen to me,” she pleaded, eyes on the verge of tears. “It’s not like I wanted to keep it from anyone. Especially not from you. The moment I found out all I wanted to do was find you and tell you, but I couldn’t!”

“You couldn’t,” he repeated, resisting the urge to snort at her words.

“I risked everything just to know where she was, Garrus. You have to believe me. It cost me _everything_ , but I couldn’t endanger her life more.”

“Well then, how did you even find out?” he exclaimed, agitated.

“Don’t play dumb, Garrus. You know why I know. Goddess knows I could’ve done a better job hiding it.” Her shoulders slumped forward, drink left on the floor as she buried her face in her hands. “I’ve thought about it so many times. It’s all I’ve been thinking about since I woke up in this galaxy. I… All this time, I’ve had _so much_ information in my hands, information that could destroy nations and countless lives. Information about my worst enemies, information about my best friends, surveillance that could compromise so many governments… but I did nothing. I could have used it all for my personal gain, but I stuck to the code and remained impartial, I didn’t let my feelings get the best of me. But the one time I don’t…”

Garrus could swear she was crying. He had never seen Liara cry before, not even after Thessia. She always kept it all bottled up, tried to not bother anyone. He felt bad; he had never been too sure on how to handle these situations, always relaying them to Shepard. Then again, it wasn’t like the anger had disappeared, she had still kept something so important from him. But he knew Liara never did anything without a reason, regardless of how much it hurt him. He was torn on what to do, so he settled on squeezing her shoulder lightly. “Hey Liara, it’s alright…” 

“No, it’s not alright. You… You deserve to know the truth.” She hiccupped, breath slightly ragged from frustration, from bottling up so many feelings. A scoff escaped her lips. “It’s not like I did a good job hiding the fact that I was the Shadow Broker. There were rumours that the Shadow Broker had gone soft, so that was the last straw I suppose.”

She let out a big breath and sat back up. “I was broken after the war, with Shepard gone. Sometimes I felt so alone in the galaxy, but Shepard was always there for me. Those two years after she died were so dark… But she came back, and I never stopped to consider that we’d be losing her again. I didn’t want to. So when the Reapers were gone along with her, it hurt so much more. But at the end of the day, I had a job that I could lose myself to. It was all I did: write, research, filter information… I tried to keep myself busy all the time. So when I found a source that says that Shepard was being held in Intensive Care. My heart stopped. Shepard was alive.”

Garrus could relate; being broken after the war, restless, without much to do. Finding out Shepard had been alive had completely reactivated him, sent his adrenaline through the roof. Even if it had been to late for him to do anything about it. _Or so he had thought..._

“I wanted to find her, to tell you all, but the war broke us all. So many people wanted her dead, people that held grudges against her. Cerberus fugitives, preachers, people who had benefited from war profit, you name it. The satisfaction of killing her with their own hands while she was in a vulnerable state... That information would have sold for so much, so many people would have benefitted from it. But, how could I? I erased it. I erased _every single trace_ I found leading to Shepard’s survival, I even had the source killed. I’m… I’m not proud, but I couldn’t let Shepard die at the hands of a psycho. Seeing her die once was enough, thinking her dead twice was horrifying, so I couldn’t let it happen again. There was no Illusive Man with infinite resources to bring her back this time.

“I _wanted_ to tell you, Garrus. I really did, but if anyone found out… If it got leaked and something happened, I don’t think I could have lived with myself.” She gulped; her hands were trembling. “After the sources were gone, I took it upon myself to check on her. To make sure no one found out, but I shouldn’t have. I tried being as careful as I could, tried to not let anyone else get a glimpse of what was happening, but I wasn’t careful enough. I became so paranoid trying to make sure nothing happened I became sloppy. The sources that disappeared… well, they didn’t go unnoticed. Some people started to suspect something was happening, that the Shadow Broker was scared and paranoid. I couldn’t keep up; goddess knows I tried. If they found out what I was hiding, well, it would be over in a second.”

Garrus was speechless. He had suspected Liara was involved in something deep, her change in demeanour throughout their friendship had been enough of an indication. Her countless screens in her personal quarters were suspicious enough, but Glyph always made sure no one ever got close to them. To hear that she was the Shadow Broker wasn’t as big a surprise as it should have been, but it was still shocking in a way. What shocked him was her resilience. He was sure that if he were in possession of such delicate files, he would probably go insane.

“My position as the Shadow Broker was compromised. I had left my side widely exposed to everyone. It wouldn’t be long until people started digging, I thought. And it really wasn’t. I tried my best to cover up for the mistakes, but if I left before anyone could find out what I had been doing, then the fact that Shepard was alive would stay secret long enough for her to recover. I had to leave _everything_ behind, Garrus. I lost _everything_ and I couldn’t tell _anyone_ what I knew. I felt so alone…

“I had known about the Andromeda Initiative, and I figured the Alliance would have had the same realisation I had about Shepard’s survival, so it wasn’t hard to find out that she had been signed up for it. I had lost everything, and it might sound stupid but knowing Shepard was alive gave me strength. My life was in danger in the Milky Way, so it seemed like the best thing I could do; start anew, somewhere far away and put enough distance between me and the galaxy that it wouldn’t be a problem anymore.” 

She was shaking. “I was scared, Garrus. My life was in danger, Shepard’s life was probably in danger and I thought if I let you know, you’d be in danger as well. I couldn’t let anyone else deal with my mistakes. The Alliance couldn’t let her live on as Shepard, you would have had to go undercover for the rest of your life, and I couldn’t bring myself to let you do that.”

“You still should have given me the choice, Liara…”

“Don’t you think I know that? It’s all I’ve been thinking about since I woke up… not knowing you were here as well, and thinking I had robbed you of a life with Shepard… I was a coward.” Liara was almost sobbing, her choices were weighing down on her. “I’m sorry, Garrus. I’m so sorry.”

Garrus sighed, it had been a lot to take in, and he was still angry at his friend, but he understood her reasoning. Perhaps, if he had been in her shoes he’d have done the same thing. But it was useless to think about it, what mattered was that they were both here and they were both going to rescue Shepard.

“Hey, Liara, it’s alright.” She looked at him. “I forgive you. Let’s leave it in the past, okay? We’ll get Shepard and then none of what happened in the Milky Way will matter.”

He gave her a hug; one she was quick to reciprocate. He felt relief. Relief that even after everything that could have gone wrong, they were in the right place at the right time. Relief that Shepard was here, relief that he wasn’t completely alone in this new galaxy. Once they reunited, he’d have a hell of a story to tell. It would trump any of hers any day.


	6. Chapter 5

They settled into their new place nicely. The quarters weren’t too big – and they certainly had _nothing_ on Liara’s apartment – but Garrus couldn’t complain. They were quaint and somehow reminded him of his time in the Normandy, sharing a ship with so many different people. And at the end of the day, it was a place to sleep, and they were lucky enough to not have to share bunk beds. Everyone got their small room, with space for a locker and a sink with filtered water. Considering what he had seen of the less fortunate areas of Kadara Port, this was a luxury. The only table was in the shared space, a pseudo living room that also doubled down as a makeshift kitchen. It was small for the ten of them, but as long as they timed their schedules, it wasn’t too cumbersome to share. The same schedules worked for the showers, and after a few days of trial-and-error, they got the hang of it.

Garrus was thankful Turians didn’t need much sleep. He needed all the time he could get to research the planet: to find out who was in power and what little of Angaran history he could find; to investigate the Kett – Spirits did they give him the creeps – and find out what weaknesses he could exploit; but most importantly, he wanted to find out more about all the exiles, find possible hideouts and the MO of Sloane Kelly if he wanted a chance to find Shepard before it was too late.

Bain would often find him in the kitchen late at night, a big glass of the Turian equivalent of coffee – which had cost him a fortune to get from one of the exiles – next to him while he scribbled notes upon notes on the terminal Liara had lent them. Bain often stayed up with him, tried to help him piece together as much information as he would have wrangled out of the exiles, but Kadara was big and the exiles were wary and cautious.

Still, he appreciated Bain’s company. The man was easy to speak to, more an equal than a team leader, and he valued his input. He knew the man had was only here because he had been assigned to this mission and didn’t have any personal reason for finding Shepard, but he appreciated the empathy he showed. Even if he was inappropriate sometimes, they shared jokes like he and Joker used to do. It was nice to have a comrade throughout it all. 

He didn’t see Liara too often. Their interactions after her heart-to-heart had been somewhat difficult at the start. Garrus tried his best to not resent her for her actions, but the hurt was still there. He learned to live with it though; he wasn’t about to throw away one of his oldest friendships, especially now that there was no one else he could trust in Andromeda. Still, she was as busy here as she had been in the Milky Way. Whenever she wasn’t helping down in the slums, she was dealing with diplomatic matters for the Angara, but she kept Shepard in her mind at all times. Sloane Kelly was proving to be difficult to find, hidden behind a large wall of misinformation, but she was confident that the more she helped around Kadara and interacted with the exiles, the closer she would get to find out who she really was.

At least helping with the Kett had proved to be a distraction. They usually deployed with a small team of Angaran fighters who drove them around, but the squad worked better on their own. Fighting with Bain and the others was somewhat like the battles he had had during the war. The sneaking around, infiltrating their bases and trying to decimate their numbers felt familiar. Back in the Milky Way he had abhorred the thought of picking up a gun and fighting monsters again, but now that he had been pushed into it, he found himself enjoying the adrenaline rush that came with running out of a Kett’s field of vision, or sniping one of the leaders. He was just missing a dose of Shepard.

Garrus had always kept a tally of how many enemies he took down, only this time he used the number as payment for rent. The Angara were visibly pleased with their work. They hadn’t been in Kadara for very long, but their active involvement helped them feel safer. Still, time was ticking and Garrus wished he’d be killing less Kett and instead employed the time to finally track down Shepard.

“-are you even listening?” Bain shook his shoulder.

Garrus shook his head, brought back from his daydream. Next to him, a slightly tipsy Bain was staring at him, thick eyebrows furrowed. He looked around. In the time he had spent daydreaming, the bar had filled with noisy patrons and the rest of the squad had left them alone. He shrugged. They were probably tired; he’d catch them later.

It had somehow become a habit to frequent the bar Liara had showed them. It was the only source of warm food around, and they enjoyed the ambience. It helped them clear their head after missions and it allowed them to discreetly gather information about Sloane Kelly. Drunk people liked to babble, after all.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

Bain gave a laugh and punched his arm, spilling his drink in the process. “Ach, it doesn’t matter. You missed the punchline and I hate explaining my jokes. Should have listened in the first place.”

“My bad,” he apologised, although he didn’t feel too guilty. Bain liked to ramble. “Hey, is it me or has this place slowly become more popular? Look at the dancefloor!”

“Yeah, looks like the Angara have started to relax now that the Kett are slowly becoming less of a headache.”

“Yeah, it’s nice.” He liked the Angara. They were the opposite of Turians, with their open hearts and open minds and talks of feelings. He appreciated their honesty; they were good to work with. He knew what to expect from them, something that hadn’t always proved true when meeting new species back in the Milky Way.

“Hey, Garrus, look!” Bain nudged him, then pointed towards one of the tables on the opposite side of the bar. “I thought I was imagining it, but I definitely caught her now! That lady has been staring at us for the past ten minutes.”

Garrus tried to spot whoever Bain was talking about, but there were too many people. “I don’t see…” But there, behind three drunk dancing Salarians, he caught her. She was glaring daggers at them. “Wait, the Human?”

“The one that looks like her drink’s too sour, yeah.”

“She must have overheard your joke, then.”

“You asshole! You were listening to me?” 

“Nah, but your jokes have a tendency to be awful.”

Bain slammed down his drink and punched his arm lightly. Garrus knew he was jesting; he had seen the man angry, after all. The man cleared his throat and Garrus clutched his glass, preparing himself for a tirade of Bain’s rambling about how unfunny Turians were: their usual banter.

However, before Bain could utter a single word, he saw the woman that Bain had pointed out stand up – her drink forgotten on the table – and move towards them.

“Shit, Bain. Your joke must have been particularly awful, look, she’s coming this way!”

Bain paused for a second before he caught on, visibly gulping down. The woman that was approaching them was intimidating. Her stance and walk indicated military training, and her scowl told them to not piss her off further. The nasty scar across her lower jaw made her seem even more menacing.

Without asking, she sat down across them. Her eyes were strikingly cold and oddly different from one another. Garrus had never seen a Human with such distinctive eyes before. She leaned forward on the table, ignoring the spilt alcohol that started seeping into her shirt, and curled her hand into a tight fist. Garrus unconsciously leaned back on his seat, away from her. He hated bar fights, so he silently prayed that this would not end up in one.

“Can I help-“

“-You must be Bain, right?” Her voice was just as cold as her eyes, and it sent a shiver down his spine. “I’ve seen you before, you always come here with your group of _friends_.”

“Got a problem with that?” Bain huffed, puffing his chest, trying to make himself seem bigger.

“I do, in fact.” Her brow furrowed and she leaned closer to them. “You fuckers have been messing around Kadara.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean, Miss.”

The woman snorted. “Fuck off, the Hell you don’t! You think I wouldn’t notice some Nexus bastards suddenly roaming around Kadara? You stand out like sore thumbs.”

Garrus’ eyes widened. This woman was a whirlpool of anger. She reminded him of Jack and her potty mouth and devil-may-care attitude. Whoever she was, he couldn’t foresee this turning out well.

“What the Hell is your problem? We’re not causing any trouble around Kadara!” Bain crossed his arms, agitated.

“That’s what you think! Before you fuckers came to Kadara _I_ was the one dealing with the Kett. But suddenly, a band of Nexus boy scouts comes to play and gain the Angara’s favour? You Nexus chancers! You don’t _need_ to kill Kett to stay _alive_. We’ve been here for _months_ , trying to drive them out so they even let us inside the city, and in you come with your fancy suits and fancy shuttle and become pals with the Angara, start serving as guards and kill our only source of livelihood. What, are you trying to drive us off Kadara too? Fuck off!”

Whoa, this wasn’t looking good. Garrus was trying to piece it all together. True, they had started assisting the Angara with the Kett, since it was the only reason why they were even allowed inside Kadara, but he didn’t do it _for_ the Angara. He was just looking for Shepard, that had been his only goal. He didn’t know what the Nexus’ goal was, but from what he had gathered they had been too busy dealing with their own issues. It was unlikely that they were even aware of the Angara and their problems in the first place.

But according to this woman, the exiles hadn’t had a choice. It was either help the Angara, try to gain their favour, or perish. He understood what she meant, how she felt threatened. But they hadn’t revealed their true purpose in Kadara, so to her the Nexus had just sent them over to further punish them.

Before Bain could continue shouting at her, he raised his hands, trying to direct her attention towards him. He had to act fast, before it all got messy.

“Hey, listen! I think you’ve misunderstood the situation. We might be endorsed by Nexus, but we’re here on our own. We’re not trying to step on your toes.”

“Then why the fuck have _you_ been killing all the Kett with the Angara?”

“Look, it’s something we’ve been doing on the side. We’re not looking to start a fight or steal your livelihood.” Upon seeing that the woman still looked cross, he decided to change his tune. “Hey, what if we… collaborated? There’s no reason why we couldn’t work together? Perhaps we could come to an agreement? We won’t stay here long, just to finish our assessment and then we’ll be out of your hair. Why not strike a deal?”

The woman snorted again, glaring at Garrus. He felt vulnerable under her icy stare. He briefly glanced around the room, the other patrons had started to notice their discussion and silence was starting to fall around the room. She noticed it as well. If they kept this up, they’d probably get kicked out real soon. He pleaded with his eyes, something that usually worked with Shepard.

“You’re lucky I’m fond of Turians,” she announced, leaning back on the seat. “As long as the Nexus doesn’t interfere with us, I guess there’s no reason we can’t be civil with each other.”

She stood up, straightening her clothes in the process, and looked them in the eyes. “I’ll come back to find you soon and we can talk about the details. Whatever the deal I bring to the table is, you better not fuck me over. And don’t you dare betray me to the Nexus. It might not mean anything to those Nexus chancers, but if you mess with me I’ll make sure you don’t get out of here alive. You don’t fuck with Sloane Kelly.” 

Garrus’ eyes widened, mouth agape. He waited until Sloane had turned around before he let out a big sigh of relief. Spirits had that been terrifying. He’d been searching nonstop since they arrived in Kadara, but some way, somehow, Sloane Kelly had ended up finding _them_. He hadn’t known what to expect of her, but he definitely hadn’t imagined she’d be so terrifying. They would need one hell of a plan if they wanted to pull this off.  
  


* * *

  
  
  


_“Are you sure about this? Is this really worth the risk?”_

_“Don’t be dumb, of course it is! She’s our only hope. Besides, you’ve seen her in action.”_

_“But we don’t know if she’ll even make the trip.”_

_“She will. She and I, we’re similar. I could recognise a fighter any day. When life has given you hell you tend to fight back with all you got.”_

_“Well, if you’re sure, ma’am.”_

It was just like a hypnic jerk. A sudden rush in her sleep, feeling like she was falling to the void. It made her jolt awake, forcing her eyes open.

Open to darkness.

She took a deep breath, trying to steady her heart and collect her thoughts. It all came rushing to her mind: The Milky Way, the hospital doctors, rehabilitation, Andromeda Initiative…

Shepard was confused. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. They had shown her the vids countless of times in preparation for the journey. A qualified doctor woke you up, gave you something to drink, checked your vitals and _voilà,_ ‘Welcome to Andromeda!’

Okay, so maybe something had happened. She stopped her mind from thinking about the possible ramifications of the situation. She was Commander Shepard and panicking never did her any good. Okay, so she had woken up from cryostasis on her own. No doctors to aid her. That was okay. Happened sometimes. She just needed to recall the founder’s advice for cryo-pods. There was something about an emergency system that would release her from it. Now if only she could find it in the darkness…

It took a bit of time, a bit of getting used to the numbness of her body, a bit of touching the cold walls of her pod, fumbling with anything she could find that indicated ‘emergency button’, but she finally managed it.

With a loud hiss, she could feel the pressure easing around her as the pod unlocked. She sighed in relief. Of all the ways she imagined arriving in Andromeda – assuming she _had_ arrived – this hadn’t been it.

The lid was heavy, even after being unlocked, so she mustered all her strength into trying to push it off. With a forceful shove, she managed to get the pod to open, lid clattering as it fell to the ground. She stumbled slightly when trying to make it out of the pod, still not used to her bearings.

With a deep exhale, she rested on her knees for a second, trying to figure out where the hell she was. At least she wasn’t enveloped in darkness anymore. Not like wherever she had ended up was any brighter…

Once she gathered enough strength and her body wasn’t numb anymore, she decided to stand up and explore her surroundings. She was in a dim-lit room, large, hot and humid. She could smell the dampness around her. This room hadn’t been used in a long time, that was for sure. It was mostly barren, grey concrete-like walls discoloured. Nothing around her gave her any indication of where she might be, what year it was or even if she was in Andromeda. Not the Nexus, she could gather that much. She walked across to the only light source: a small window with bars.

She couldn’t see much. The building was high up and she thought she could see the sky, which meant she wasn’t in a space station of sorts. _Definitely_ not the Nexus.

What had happened? Had she made it? Had she died? Was this what the afterlife was like?

Her musings were cut short. She could hear a mumble in the distance. She turned around. She could hear steps approaching, but she didn’t have any of her weapons with her. Shepard readied her fists, not like she was as good on hand-on-hand combat, but if worst came to worst, she’d have to make do. There was a voice right outside the door. Angry, alert, agitated. She was female, sounded Human. At least it wasn’t a Krogan, there was no way she could beat a Krogan with just her hands.

Slowly, the door creaked open. Shepard decided to wait before landing her punch, but took a defensive stance and a step backwards, just for safety measures. In front of her was a Human woman, somewhat older than her. Her dark hair was buzzed at the sides and her brow was furrowed. She looked angry, suspicious, ready to attack. A nasty scar on the left side of her face told Shepard this woman was not one to mess around with. She took another step backwards.

But when the woman saw her and the open cryo-pod behind her, her face relaxed and she exhaled in relief. “Shepard,” she said. “I am sorry for the… _condition_ in which you woke up in. I know it must be quite a shock.”

Shepard was speechless. “Yeah, you bet. Who are you and where are we? This looks _nothing_ like the Nexus.” She didn’t back down from her defensive posture; she still had no way of telling if this person was an enemy. The other woman didn’t seem upset by it, either way.

“Yeah, I imagine you have a lot of questions. I’ll make it quick. I’m Sloane Kelly and you’re currently in Kadara, one of the many planets in Andromeda.” 

So she had made it to Andromeda… It didn’t seem real, even when she had signed up, she had done so out of convenience, not belief. The chances of them making it across were slim, she always thought. Her heart accelerated, suddenly feeling slightly lost.

Sloane laughed, “I had the same reaction as you when I woke up. It doesn’t seem real, does it?”

“It really doesn’t. _We really made it_ … But where is the Nexus? What has happened?”

Sloane tensed up slightly and jerked her head towards the hallway. “Let’s not talk out here, the storage room is hardly the place to have a conversation in. It’s a long story after all.”

The _storage room_? Where the hell were they? Shepard had no choice but to comply, so she followed her in silence, alert to her surroundings. She wasn’t sure she was safe, after all. They walked through the narrow hallway into a small room, fluorescents lit brightly and with a table that occupied most of the space in one of the corners. It seemed like a kitchen of sorts, with a small basin and a tiny refrigerator, and some old cupboards. Shepard carefully took a seat, still evaluating her surroundings carefully.

She was suspicious of the drink Sloane offered her, but she _was_ thirsty. Her body had managed to cope with all sorts of poison, so she hoped it wouldn’t betray her now.

Thankfully, it was just water.

“Sorry about stuffing you in the storage room, by the way,” said Sloane as she took a seat across Shepard. “We needed to put you somewhere that was somewhat protected.”

“Okay, you’re not making any sense. Can you just tell me what’s happened, please?” Shepard wasn’t about to make small talk. Not when she was so utterly confused as to where she was, and how she got here.

“Straight to the point, I knew I would like you.” Sloane gave her a smirk, “We’re the same: once an Alliance soldier, always an Alliance soldier. It’s nice to finally meet you, Shepard. I just wish it were under better circumstances.”

Shepard just cocked her eyebrows, awaiting an explanation.

“I was in the Alliance too, was there when the Blitz happened. Not a pretty sight. It was all for naught, though. I ended up leaving my position a few months later due to a… _bureaucratic incident_.”

That surprised her, she remembered hearing about the story about the officer after the Blitz, it was all the other officers gossiped about for nearly two months. “ _You’re_ the one that punched her superior?”

Sloane gave a hearty laugh. “That asshole had it coming. Still, once you've served for the Alliance, the training they gave you sticks with you. The morals, their vision, it just becomes part of you. As I said, once an Alliance soldier, always an Alliance soldier.”

Shepard gave a nod. “Well, as reassuring as it is having another ex-Alliance here, I still have no idea where we are, or what’s happened. Care to enlighten me?”

“This is gonna be long so bear with me. We made it to Andromeda, six hundred odd years later. Thing is, we hit this strange thing called The Scourge. I’m no scientist, so I can’t tell you what it is, but it pretty much destroyed most arcs. The Nexus was badly damaged, and a lot of the pod stations were lost. Some where destroyed, some managed to make it to the surface of a planet. Your batch was lucky, the whole station made it mostly undamaged. Buried in Kadara, but still intact. The people on the Nexus wanted the pods to be retrieved. Other lost stations weren’t so lucky, but the one here had been the largest one to survive. Of course, people would want their families safe.”

Hmmm. Shepard was confused. Of course they couldn’t have predicted what would happen in Andromeda, but to have such a bad start?

“People rioted; they wanted their families safe. They were even willing to volunteer to come fetch all the pods and bring them back to the Nexus. But the Director refused. Eventually, there was too much pressure, so he had to give in to their demands. I volunteered to lead the group, got us a ship, coordinates and supplies and set off to Kadara. Just to find out that the Director had stabbed us in the back. Exiled for insubordination. For pressuring him into giving into their demands. When all we wanted was to rescue these people!”

“No way! Jien Garson? She never gave me that impression… She was the first one I met when I signed up for the Initiative; she was always willing to do everything for the people!”

“Jien Garson is dead, Shepard.” Sloane’s words were without decorum, just straight to the point. “She was murdered when we first hit The Scourge. Tann took over, and that power-hungry weasel betrayed us all. Left us all to die out here. Less mouths to feed, shot two birds with one stone with that one…”

“How? But you’re saying you guys only wanted to secure the pods?”

“We did. These people had families out here, Shepard. They only wanted them safe and sound. But it was a big risk. A lot of these people aren’t too well-versed in fighting or surviving. Tann didn’t want to send any military force, so these people volunteered. He was scared, scared that this innocent action would be seen as insubordination. That others would question his role.”

“So he chose to exile you all?” That Tann sounded like a cretin. But he must have had a reason to exile them. Right?

“What better way to get the point across? If you refuse to listen to me, to heed my every word, you’re out there on your own.”

Shepard buried her head in her hands and rubbed her temples. What a nightmare. Was she exiled as well? She had no means to make it back to the Nexus, so it sure as hell felt like exile. What was going to happen to her? She suddenly felt alone. At least in the Milky Way, she was on familiar grounds. Here, everything was an unknown variable.

“So what happened then? You rescued the pods?”

“Pretty much. Most woke up straight away, a small percentage never made it. I was worried about the other pods, storage conditions in Kadara are suboptimal, after all. That storage room was the only place they could be kept safe and secure, so I decided to store the others until they could be woken up, and slowly they did. Although I have to admit, the Angara did help us with their awakening… I recognised your pod in a second, though. I was angry, angry that the legendary Shepard had been so unlucky to not make it to the Nexus. You saved our lives back in the Milky Way, Shepard. Without you, none of us would be here. So, I took it upon myself to make sure your pod stayed safe. If anyone deserved it, it was you. You were the last one to finally wake up.”

She gave a hum, not really sure what to think about the whole situation. “So, what is Kadara? Sloane, you’ll have to forgive me, but this is a lot to digest… I… I don’t know what to think.”

Sloane reached across the table to give her hand a small squeeze. “Don’t worry, I understand. We’re in uncharted territory, but Kadara is all in all, decent enough. We’ve settled in nicely, us exiles. We’re currently in Kadara Port, I managed to secure a warehouse from the native aliens. Managed to convert it into something liveable, too. It’s big enough to house a lot of the exiles. Some others have decided to try to blend in the city, make it on their own, but they’re always welcome here. I just want us all to survive, even against all odds.”

Shepard understood the sentiment. Hell, it had been her only mantra throughout that excruciating long war.

“The Angara have been hospitable enough, but this planet is a shithole. Better than drifting on a shuttle and starving to death, but still… It used to be a prosper port, according to some of the elders, but things aren’t looking so great nowadays. The wildlife is scary, the water’s toxic without a filter and there’s these nasty fuckers that keep terrorising the inhabitants. The Kett; they’re ugly and vicious and I’ve made it my personal mission to get rid of them, if only to make this place our new home away from home. If it helps the Angara, they’ll help us in return.”

That seemed reasonable enough. At least they weren’t Reapers, Shepard thought. “I’m guessing that if the exiled were volunteers, not a lot of them are able to fight.” 

“You got that right. See, that’s why I’m so happy that you’re awake Shepard. With you by my side we actually stand a chance against those ugly assholes. We can drive them away from port, eradicate them. And then, maybe we finally get our chance for respite, huh? What do you say?”

Shepard felt alone. She knew no one on the Nexus, but at least she had familiarised herself with the concept of waking up there. Here, she was like a fish out of the water. For the first time in her life, she had no way of reaching anyone she trusted. In a foreign galaxy, with her only link towards a normal life severed, she felt truly alone. 

But Sloane Kelly seemed passionate. She was a fighter; she had been hurt. She could relate to her desire to make the world a better place. And if nothing else, it was not like she had anything to lose, nor anyone to lean on.

“You’re not really giving me much choice,” she chuckled. “I guess it’s a deal.”

“See? I knew we’d agree. Us Alliance need to stick together, and then everything will work out.” She gave her a bright smile and shook her hand. “I have some free quarters prepared for you. I’m sure it’s nothing like what you’re used to, and I know you deserve better, but it’s all we have on hand at the moment. At the end of the day, it’s only a place to sleep.”

Shepard nodded. She felt tired, even though she had woken up just recently. A side-effect of cryostasis, maybe? But she had a lot to think about, a lot to consider.

Someone knocked on the door. A tall Turian walked in, bright blue markings on his plates. Sloane smiled at him, an oddly sweet smile, clearly not meant to be given to just anyone. “Oh, so this is where you went… You didn’t come back, ma’am. I was worried you had encountered intruders.”

“Oh, Kaetus, you know I’ll always be okay.” She stood up and briefly stroked the side of the Turian’s face. His mandibles flared out. Shepard could identify that Turian expression anytime. _It hurt_. The man became aware of her presence and gave an awkward cough, clearly uncomfortable of having been observed during an intimate moment. 

“Oh, Shepard’s awake? Thank the Spirits, I thought she’d never make it.” The Turian, Kaetus, turned to her and gave her a curt nod. “I’m so glad to see you’re okay. Welcome to Kadara, I guess Sloane’s already given you a rundown of the situation…”

Shepard just nodded in response. She felt oddly uncomfortable, like she was suddenly intruding. She could recognise that look anywhere. The admiration towards Sloane, the way his eyes widened, and mandibles flared out. It made her miss Garrus. But she had to stop her mind from going to dark places. Garrus was in the past and she had to be strong for him; for everyone she saved.

“Well, Kaetus, I’m gonna lead Shepard to her quarters and make sure she’s okay. You know what to do.”

The Turian nodded, his hand lingering on her shoulder for a second too long before he turned to Shepard and gave her a small salute, leaving the two women alone.

“Well, shall we go?” Sloane made no mention of her small domestic interaction with the Turian. Shepard got the impression Sloane wasn’t one to talk about personal affairs unless it was absolutely necessary. She could deal with that. The walk to their quarters was quiet; Shepard was glad, she was suddenly not in the mood for any interaction. Not when she thought about all she had to leave behind.


	7. Chapter 6

The meeting with Sloane had left them slightly shaking and in desperate need to clear their heads of thoughts, leading them to drink a lot more than what they had anticipated.

They tumbled home, still trying to process just _who_ Sloane Kelly was. Head of Security, sure, Kandros had already briefed them in. But Garrus hadn’t been sure what to expect from someone who had been bold enough to dare smuggle _a pod_ , of all things, out of the Nexus. Something so raw emanated from her. Rude, menacing, driven… that much was certain. It scared him. What was her goal? What had made her desert their only known haven in such a foreign place.

He had worked at the C-Sec for years and had seen lawful people lose their footing in life and fall down a dark path. _He avoided thinking about Saren_. It happened more often than he cared to admit, but still, something made them tick, even if he couldn’t comprehend exactly what it was. Something that made them decide that the world had crumbled enough beyond redemption. That they were above the rules.

He shuddered to think about himself, how all the red-tape and limitations had tempted him to opt for more unsavoury methods. He shuddered to think what would have happened to him if Shepard hadn’t been there for him. He liked to think that regardless of how bad a Turian he was, he’d still be capable of doing the right thing. Even during his worst days in Omega, he was still aiming to make the world a better place. He had never lost hope. But no matter how angry he was at Saren, or Sidonis, they still had something that had motivated them to commit to their path. Perhaps he too would have eventually ticked.

He groaned and brought his hands to press hard against his plates in a feeble attempt to reduce the tension. He shouldn’t have drank so much, especially knowing how alcohol made him overthink everything.

“Are you okay?” A hand pressed on his shoulder. He looked down at Bain and was suddenly jealous of how fast his smaller body could process alcohol. The question was pointless. Of course he wasn’t okay. But he appreciated it, nonetheless.

“Yeah, sorry. Give me a minute, I just think I had too much to drink.”

Bain nodded and leaned back against the cold wall, arms crossed and an observing eye on his friend.

“Liara is going to freak out… Should we take it? The deal?”

Garrus looked into his dark eyes and came up with no answer. At the time, it had seemed like the best course of action to avoid an imminent barfight, and to avoid having their cover blown, but now he wasn’t so sure. Sloane could be many unknown things, but she was cunning. She had been onto them from the start while they were aimlessly looking for her.

“I… don’t know. I don’t think we have much choice in the matter.” It was the truth. Sloane had made it pretty clear to them that she was the one in control. 

“Well, at least we finally found her. Or, well, _she_ found _us_.”

Garrus only scoffed in response.

It took them longer than usual, but they made it to their quarters. The rest of the team had long-since retired for the night, leaving the remnants of their dinner on the table. Bain groaned as he brought the bowls to the sink, then plopped down next to Garrus. While the fresh air had helped him, he still had to wait some time for the stupor to pass. The glass of water that Bain offered him helped him. He was lucky he didn’t get hangovers, or he’d be regretting this soon.

The water and Bain’s mindless blabbing helped him sober up. Enough to start thinking clearly again, with no distractions. He was tired, more than ready to flop down on the bed and get this day over with, but he couldn’t. Bain made no attempt to move from his seat, so he knew they were both on the same page.

Liara had to know. She had been part of the first recon team sent over to Kadara, the last remnant of the team. Her help would be indispensable; the more the better. But most importantly, he didn’t want to keep any secrets from her. Getting over the hurdle of her secrecy over Shepard’s wellbeing still stung, which was enough to know he didn’t want to do the same thing to her. She had been working hard to get closer to the exiles, to find out about Sloane. He needed a friend in all of this. 

They debated on when to contact Liara, but Garrus couldn’t wait until morning. Sloane could contact them at any time, she could have people looking out for them. They didn’t know what to expect, a plan of action was necessary. If they waited until morning Liara would already be out of the door.

Both men towered over the terminal, trying to decide what to say. How to say it. They settled on sending her a short message, telling her to call them as soon as possible; that they had news about Sloane.

Thankfully, Liara was a night-owl and responded to their message almost immediately. Her face appeared on the terminal screen. She had bags under her eyes, they had probably caught her just as she was about to go to sleep. 

“ _I read your message. So, you finally met her?_ ” Hearing her voice was refreshing, especially after the night he’d had. “ _What was she like?”_

“She was rude as Hell,” complained Bain.

Garrus ignored his comment. “Liara, she has been onto us from the start.”

Her eyes widened, suddenly looking more alert. “ _Oh, goddess. How did she even find you? How has she not come to contact me? I’ve been slowly gaining the favour of the Angara… Has she known from the start?_ ”

“I don’t know, I couldn’t say. But you came here posing as an exile, and right now you’re an asset for them, with all the help and care you’ve been given her. She seemed really hung up on the fact that we were dealing with the Kett, I guess it’s what she’s been using as a leverage to settle everyone down in Kadara. The fact that we didn’t exactly hide the fact that we were with Nexus probably didn’t help.”

“ _I mean, she_ was _exiled from the Nexus. But still… the Kett? I had heard about a few exiles helping the Angaran with driving them out, but they were lacking in force and organisation, I’d have never thought she’d be taking it so seriously…_ ”

“I’m guessing the Angara offered her the same they offered us. Stability and housing as long as we got rid of the problem. It’s just probably easier to house only ten aliens. She’s willing to collaborate as long as we get the Angara to listen to her requests.”

“ _You didn’t mention Shepard, right?_ ”

“Liara!”

“ _Alright, alright. Just had to ask_.” She let out a small laugh that faded into silence. “ _But this could be just what we needed. Just by working with her we can access a lot of information about who she works with, and it’ll give us great leverage in order to steal Shepard back.”_

“I don’t know, at first it seemed like a good idea, but so much could go wrong, Liara. She hates the Nexus. We risk blowing our cover, plus we don’t know how many people are with her, and how many are watching us.”

“ _There are multiple reasons why the Nexus could be in Kadara. They might be interested in the resources, maybe they want to keep an eye on the exiles, or maybe they’re just looking to research the Kett and this planet’s the only one with a viable environment. Just make something up, take her deal no matter what. We need to find Shepard_.”

Liara didn’t have to tell him twice.

* * *

When Garrus woke up the next morning, he realised that Bain had already informed the rest of the squad of what had transpired the night before. Together, they decided that they’d need to act casual but keep an eye on their surroundings. They didn’t know who was with Sloane, and when she’d appear. They decided that Kett-hunting was okay to continue until she stepped forward, however it was important that they kept a low profile. After all, they didn’t know how many of the squad she had seen. They would just have to assume that she could only recognise Garrus and Bain.

Garrus was worried, the plan they had wasn’t a great plan. It wasn’t like he had no confidence in his team-mates, but they were dealing with so many unknowns. He liked control. Getting to the place he needed to be and doing what he was supposed to do, then leave. In his experience, unknown variables had the tendency to turn into disasters.

If Sloane asked them about their motives of being here, they would tell her the Nexus was hunting for resources. She would probably rub it in their faces, given her relationship with the Nexus. Still, they would avoid talking about the Nexus as much as possible. Their shuttle was wrecked when they landed and they had no way of contacting anyone: doing so from Kadara would be deemed unsafe, considering they would have to use a foreign channel. Helping the Angara had been the only thing they could do to survive until they fixed the ship. Hopefully she’d believe them.

Garrus was sure their story wouldn’t illicit pity, but she’d probably let it go, even if it was only to rejoice in the Nexus’ misfortune.

In hindsight, Garrus should have expected that things _never_ went according to plan. While he was expecting Sloane to pop up out of nowhere, either at the bar where she had first approached them or somewhere else, she never did. He was tense at first, looking over his shoulder, trying to catch someone looking at him a second too long, or trying to find her cold gaze somewhere in the crowd. But she was drawing this out, playing the long game. He felt antsy and miserable.

They never met Sloane; instead, Bain found a shy Salarian sitting in his usual spot. He slipped him a brief message and left immediately after. The note was short, detailing a time and a place where both were to show up. No signature was found; not like they needed to know who the message was from.

The message told them to head deep into the Slums. Garrus wasn’t sure what to expect from the place, but he knew to stay alert. They didn’t know what could happen, if Sloane would be armed or if she would bring company. The place they were called to was dark and dirty, much like the rest of Kadara Port’s undercity. They navigated the metal corridors, only meeting a handful of exiles who gave them a strange look but said nothing otherwise. As soon as the red neon and deep bass reverb from the nightclub were left behind, the Slums fell eerily quiet. They only heard the metallic sound of their heavy shoes against the floor.

They were called to a small apartment, one of many in a long row. Just like the rest of the Slums, it was dark and gloomy, but light spilled underneath the door that had been left ajar. This was the place Sloane had called them to. They took a deep breath and straightened their shoulders, hand hovering on the concealed pistols they brought, just in case. Garrus preferred it didn’t get to that point, and he silently prayed that it wasn’t a trap. They couldn’t afford a trap.

They nudged the door open. A small room devoid of furniture except for a few chairs around a table and a mattress in the corner. However, once again, there was no trace of Sloane. Instead, they were met with a tall Turian with a stern gaze and a rigid posture, much like the Turians at the C-Sec. Garrus briefly glanced at his plates and realised he didn’t recognise his face markings, either by pattern or by colour. A complete stranger.

The Turian didn’t seem too alert by their presence, it was likely he had been expecting them. He calmly invited them to sit down on the table after dropping his guns on the floor, to indicate that there was no hostile intent. Reluctantly, Bain and Garrus let go of their weapons too.

“We were expecting Sloane,” said Bain as soon as they were all settled on their seats.

The Turian’s mandibles flared in amusement. “Sloane is a very busy woman, as you know. She doesn’t like wasting her time with trivialities. That’s usually my area of expertise.”

Garrus wanted to laugh. Of course Sloane would send a representative. She had avoided them for so long and she wanted them to know she was in charge. Who really _was_ Sloane Kelly?

“I’m Kaetus, and I’m here to talk about the deal.”

Kaetus didn’t waste any time with explaining who he was, even at Bain’s request. He was a Turian who left the Milky Way with Sloane, that’s all the information they needed to know. The Uprising left him with a bitter feeling, hence why he didn’t quite trust Garrus or Bain yet. He made it extremely clear that he wouldn’t tolerate any disrespect towards Sloane or what she was trying to accomplish. He believed in her mission, wanted to make Kadara a place the Nexus would be jealous of. A place owned completely by those deserted by the mothership. Garrus wanted to ask him about Shepard, but he knew the dangers of doing so, so he forced himself to keep his mouth shut.

“Not all the exiles know how to fight, only a small group helped Sloane with the Kett,” he explained. “Which makes it no surprise that the Angara would prefer a trained squad with good equipment from the Nexus.” 

“We told Sloane already, we don’t mean to steal your livelihood. We just needed a place to stay and helping with the Kett was an acceptable payment for the Angara!” All in all, Bain was managing to keep his calm.

“Tell that to all the exiles camping outside of the gates because the place is filled to the brim!” Kaetus drummed his talons on the table, impatient. “Sloane is trying to make this place better for all of us!”

“As Bain said, we’re here on a different mission, we’re not looking for trouble. As soon as we finish what we came here to do we’ll be gone from Kadara. The Nexus won’t interfere again.”

Kaetus seemed amused and he gave a short laugh, golden eyes narrowing to slits. He leaned back on his chair with his arms crossed. “We’ll see about that, won’t we? Why don’t we start talking about what Sloane wants in exchange for peace between us?”

The deal Kaetus read out wasn’t great. Sloane wasn’t happy with the involvement of the Nexus and was worried they would be relaying inside information about the exiles to the Directive. The exiles had already paid their price, they had left the Nexus and received any other deserters with open arms. Kaetus conveniently forgot to mention how they were surviving by raiding other ships full off supplies. Bain had to assure them that they wouldn’t relay anything back that wasn’t related to their mission. A lie by omission, as their mission was very much related to the exiles and how they smuggled Shepard off the ship.

Sloane wanted preference whenever the Angara went out to hunt Kett. By having an active involvement, she wanted Angara to notice the plea of the Exiles and promise them better housing and supplies in exchange. As a consequence, Bain’s team would have to relinquish to a more supportive role, just involved enough to not get kicked out of the quarters they were granted. Whenever they travelled with Sloane, they would follow her commands and split the earnings 40/60, even if they had worked more. And, since they were still with the Nexus, they were to stay distinctly separate from the rest of the exiles that were under Sloane’s protection. She wouldn’t give them shelter.

Garrus groaned. The deal actively jeopardised their partnership with the Angara, but they couldn’t turn Sloane down. Not if they wanted to find Shepard. So, they were forced to accept the deal with gritted teeth. There were only ten of them, in comparison with the countless exiles that lived in Kadara, many of whom worked for and idolised Sloane. This would be their best chance at slowly getting closer to Sloane and gaining her trust.

Kaetus was pleased with the outcome of the meeting. He shook their hands to finalise the deal and gave him his contact. He would be the one handling all interactions and messages with Sloane. He expected to speak to the Angara soon in regard to the new deal and would let them know whenever they were needed in the battlefield. His smug grin didn’t go amiss. Garrus wanted to punch it out of his face, but he restrained himself. This man had admiration for Sloane and was willing to do anything to protect their position. He couldn’t blame him.

* * *

Garrus went over to Liara’s apartment after the meeting. The dark atmosphere in the Slums and the tension from meeting Kaetus had soured his mood, and he wanted nothing more than a shower and falling into his bed, but he needed to inform Liara of what had transpired.

The Asari was concerned. Sloane’s secrecy made her suspicious. She wondered just how many people Sloane had managed to sway to her side, how many people were working with her, and was worried she’d be found out too.

“Honestly, Liara, as long as we do what she says and you stay out of it, you’ll be fine. And you came here posing as an exile, if she’s not said anything to you yet, I don’t think you have to worry about it. Just stay alert and steer clear of suspicious people.”

Liara grumbled, pacing around the room restlessly. “But what if she already knows?” She stopped in her tracks and turned around to look at Garrus. “I found a note in my backpack after I came back from volunteering. Someone wants to meet me at the bar tomorrow, but Garrus… I’m worried!”

“What? Who did you work with today? Maybe it’s a prank?”

She shook her head. “It’s no coincidence that I received it the same day you went to meet with Sloane…”

“But she doesn’t know you work with us!”

“But the exiles have seen me help you out… I don’t know, Garrus.”

Garrus gave her a brief smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll go with you. At least this time it’s a meeting in public space.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I struggled writing this fic, the words wouldn't come to me, but I finally managed to break through! I'm really excited to keep writing the next chapters, though! I'm having a lot of fun exploring Kadara before the events of Andromeda! So many possibilities!


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